A4P Guest: I thought I found a spiritual man who loves Christ more than he loves me and married him three years ago. But right after the wedding, I realized that all the spiritual things I thought he had were nothing but fake. I now don’t even think that he is a believer in Christ. He is addicted to all sorts of Internet filthy stuff and he has no plan to deal with it. As he told me, he became addicted to this thing ten years ago. Had I known about this while we were dating, I wouldn’t have married him but there was no way for me to know that. And he didn’t tell me even if I shared with him everything about me.
A4P: So, tell me how you came to know him and what made you believe that he was in love with Christ more than he was in love with you?
A4P Guest: I met him in my church. I thought he was very spiritual because he used to talk about God 24/7 and if the church door opened for whatever reason, he was there. He missed no church programs. He also used to preach in some church programs. I used to be blessed by every word he uttered. He encouraged me to grow in Christ and used to text me spiritual messages almost everyday that I always looked forward to.
A4P: Hmm! From what you told me, I think, you were more in love with him than with Christ. I said that because you used to get your “spiritual daily bread” not from Christ but from him. And that experience kind of distorted the picture that was sitting in front of you and made you believe that you found Christ as a husband.
A4P Guest: But unless I married him, there was no way for me to know what was going on inside his heart. Am I right?
A4P: Partly right. You can’t know what was (is) in his heart but there were things you could look into to see if he was a phony or a real deal. Let me ask you before I went ahead and list those things you were supposed to pay attention to. So, for how long have you guys dated?
A4P Guest: Three months. Why that short time? Because he had to go to America and I had to marry him to go with him.
A4P: Did you guys receive any premarital counseling?
A4P Guest: No, because we became very busy right after we got married to move together to America.
A4P: Did you guys have a wedding ceremony?
A4P Guest: Two wedding ceremonies, one in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and one in America. Everybody was saying in both wedding ceremonies that they felt the presence of God.
A4P: And you thought “God’s presence” people claimed to feel at your wedding ceremonies was the sign that your marriage was from God?
A4P Guest: I mean, God wouldn’t be present if it was from Him. Right?
A4P: Where in the Scripture does it say that?
The Bible says,
“Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,”
Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day.
Darkness and light are alike to You.” Psalm 139: 7-12 NASB
A4P Guest: Even if the Bible doesn’t say that I believe what pastors say. There were three pastors and three of them said the same thing.
A4P: Beloved, what’s your question to me?
A4P Guest: My husband is not spiritual and he has many struggles that made me believe that he hadn’t been a Christian.
A4P Guest: Do I have to live with him? I respect marriage and I know the Bible says, God hates divorce, but now my life is worse than divorce itself.
A4P: And your ground for divorce is “my husband is not as spiritual as I expect him to be?”
A4P Guest: Sort of.
A4P: Are you?
A4P Guest: What do you mean?
A4P: Are you a spiritual person?
A4P Guest: I believe so. That is why I am not willing to live with sin.
A4P: Is your husband “the sin” you don’t want to live with?
A4P Guest: I mean, his sinful nature?
A4P: Do you have any sinful nature?
A4P Guest: I don’t think so. I always go to church and pray and read the Bible.
A4P: Beloved, what you need is not advice or counseling regarding your marriage. What I believe you need at this point is someone who can teach you the whole counsel of the word of God, the Bible, the Christian doctrines, so you come out of this “I felt the presence of God” or “they felt the presence of God” or “even if the Bible doesn’t say it, I believe what mortal men are saying” kind of thinking into “The word of God says, “God is with me always, even to the end of the world,” so I believe it. I am not alone. (Matthew 28:20) God does not have a grandchild or a step child. We all who believe in Jesus Christ are His children (John 3:16). You don’t need your husband’s spiritual life for you to be spiritual. You have God, His Spirit lives in you (if you truly believe in Christ), His word is in your hand, His presence is always with you, His grace and truth follow you everywhere.
The Bible says, “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness” 2 Peter 3:1a ESV
May God lead you into the right person/people under whose feet you sit and learn how to know, love and fear God.
You have to clean your “garden” first before you complain about your husband’s “garden.” ///