A4P Guest: Do I need to stay married when I am unhappy in my marriage?
A4P: Hmm! What’s going on?
A4P Guest: I am not happy with my husband. I always cry and feel sad that I am married to him.
A4P: Have you always felt like that throughout your married life?
A4P Guest: No. We got married in 2017 and we have a six month old baby. I was happy like the first one and a half years of my marriage but after that I haven’t been happy.
A4P: How old are you and how old is your husband?
A4P Guest: I am 31 and he is 34.
A4P: So, what has changed in your marriage between now and two years ago?
A4P Guest: You know, I prayed a lot about my marriage before I got married. We both were born and raised in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, and now we live here in America. We both are born again Christians, and my number one prayer request was for me to be happy in my married life.
A4P: Oh, it’s good that you both are born again Christians and I am glad you prayed before you got married. But is there a passage in the Bible where it says, “Married people must be happy all the time, if not, they have to get a divorce”?
A4P Guest: I mean, the Bible may not put it that way, but I believe God wants me to be happy.
A4P: Well, you may be watching too much of Joseph Prince’s preaching that goes something like: “The grace of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus is so amazing that when we talk a lot about it those “sad and gloomy” so-called “Christians” get upset with us. But what can we do about that except continuing being happy all the time! We want them to be happy like us too, don’t we? Yes, we are happy in the grace of Jesus! We can’t help it! We are happy. It is the grace of God that does that!” And people clap and shout amen at the top of their lungs.
A4P Guest: I do listen to Joseph Prince a lot and my life has changed because of his messages.
A4P: Why are you here then? My friend, Joseph Prince is from Singapore, the country listed as number one in the world with an average IQ of 108. So, he might be one of the smartest dudes in his country, fooling the whole world with an IQ less than his (Ethiopia with an average IQ of 61, no wonder many Ethiopians are following him. And I don’t mean this as a joke, but a serious point). So, Joseph Prince can make you believe that you are a giraffe with only a two minute speech. Powerful man! So, be very careful. Let me ask you a quick question from a Book that can be understood by all people, even people with an average IQ of 56 (the lowest average IQ recorded): Does the Bible say that you have to be happy all the time?
A4P Guest: By the way, I love Joseph Prince a lot. And just because he has the highest IQ doesn’t mean that I have to hate him or stop listening to him. God can call people like him with the highest IQ.
A4P: Hmm! You may be right on that one; but listen to what the Word of God says: “ For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble; but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong, and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are, so that no man may boast before God. ” 1 Corinthians 1:26-29 NASB
I leave that passage to you to ponder on; but please I kindly ask that you answer my last question.
A4P Guest: I mean, the whole Bible talks about happiness and joy.
A4P: Is there a Joseph Prince Version of the Bible that I may not be aware of? And I’m asking genuinely.
A4P Guest: I don’t know about that but whenever I hear the Bible, I feel happy.
A4P: My sister, how can we understand each other if you keep on talking about your feelings? You said, you are a born again Christian. Okay, I get that. If you are, tell me the passage that talks about happiness in this life, especially in one’s marriage.
A4P Guest: Are you saying that you are not happy in your marriage?
A4P: I personally don’t seek happiness in my marriage, but joy; and joy, as you may know, is not found from a spouse but from the Spirit: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. ” Galatian 5:22-23 NASB
So, in short, since I am seeking joy in my marriage from God, I will be a liar if I say I am unhappy in my marriage. I am not just happy in my marriage. I am very happy in my marriage. May the Holy Spirit take all the praise, glory and honor!
A4P Guest: Anyways, I am unhappy in my marriage and my question is, do you think God wants me to stay in my marriage being unhappy?
A4P: I think you and I are having some miscommunication. So, let me say what I want to say here and let you go. My dear friend, the Bible is not a “How to be happy in life” book or a twin brother of the book “Your Best Life Now” by Joel Osteen. The Bible is all about Jesus Christ and it is a Book that calls us through Jesus Christ to the wonderful union and fellowship that exists among the Godhead. It is a Book that helps us to know Christ and shows us how to be eternally joyful and grateful through the glorification of Jesus Christ in and through us. And the only way we can glorify Jesus Christ is by living according to His word. And His words says, “But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”” Mark 10:6-9 NASB
I don’t know if you are asking me about getting a divorce. Since you didn’t tell me anything about your marriage that made you unhappy, I can’t say this or that. If there is anything that you can pinpoint as a cause of your unhappiness, it is good to seek marriage counseling, not a divorce.
The other thing is, your baby is very young. After birth, most young mothers (more than 70%) go through what is called “Postpartum Depression.” You might be going through that. To be sure, it would be good to visit your family doctor who can evaluate your health.
My friend, please read and study Ephesians 5:21-31.” ///