Cuddle Hormone

Yeap! They call it cuddle hormone. It is Oxytocin. It has multiple and complicated functions in our body but mainly it helps us to bond and make us “relatable” creatures. It mainly bonds mothers to their babies. It also helps to intensify bonding memories, but both good and bad memories.

It is primarily because of this hormone that we should run away from our ex-boy/girlfriend once we’re married. Otherwise those “love-again” stories may occur like lightening without any warnings because of the good memories oxytocin kept in our memory bank. Make note of that!

Oxytocin gets secreted in a pregnant mother and strong bond gets formed between her and her baby. This may start when her baby is one day old in her womb. Since women are relational beings, they get more oxytocin in their body than their counterparts.

What about Men?

Nah! No oxytocin in their body even if their wives are nine month pregnant. Yes, they are lying whenever they try to be affectionate towards the baby who is in his/her mother’s womb. They do it to make their wives happy. That is all! No bond is formed yet at this stage between a father and a baby.

Well, do men ever get an oxytocin in their body?

Oh, yes, they do. They get high surge of oxytocin when they hold their babies in their hands and when they make love to their wives.

Remember, this cuddle hormone is not a born-again Christian. I mean, it is not a human being that it needs a savior. That means, it doesn’t discriminate between holy and sinful sexual activities. When the man gets sexual climax through holy sexual activity or sinful, cuddle hormone will be secreted from his brain.

Mind you, this is the only time a man gets a real bath of oxytocin.

If a man decides to get his sexual release from porn, he gets bonded with porn as if porn is the one that gives him life because of this notorious and powerful cuddle hormone.

Sometimes we get puzzled when we see men unable to stop watching porn even after they learned about the danger of porn and claimed that they hate porn.

Well, this might, in a small way, contribute to the answer to that “very complicated question.” They have a very strong love-hate relationship with porn, bonded and sealed by a cuddle hormone called Oxytocin.

That is why men who are in porn find it hard to be affectionate towards anybody especially their wives and children, not because they hate them but because they feel bad about themselves and they have no leftover hormone to help them to be affectionate towards their wives and children. Porn made it hard for them to relate with anyone but porn itself.

How can a man break this strong bond?

By the help of others! No other way!

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16)

If the man is married, he needs his wife’s help but she needs help too to deal with all the betrayal feelings this whole thing creates in her.

Through time, the man learns how to weaken and break this dangerous bond by building a healthy bond with his loved ones, wives and children. (The same holds true if the person who is bonded with porn is a woman.) ///

One book to learn more about this issue for men: “Every Man’s Battle” by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker and for women: “Every Woman’s Battle” by Shannon Ethridge and forwarded by Steven Arturburn.