Marriage is supposed to be fun, am I right?
I mean, we forsake everybody in our lives to unite and become one with one person we believe is going to make us happy. Right?
The truth is, our spouse may make us happy for a day or two but not on a daily basis. We all married people can attest to that.
What guarantees our happiness in our marriage is our willingness to accept, love and treasure our spouses the way they already are, without trying to change them in any way. The thing is, this is not easy to do because of one notorious enemy.
Guess who that enemy is.
Our enemy is “the perfect fantasy spouse” we all married people carry in our minds.
When, for example, the wife and her husband go to a wedding party, the wife envisions her husband in her mind wearing a black tuxedo with a butterfly tie and shiny black shoes, standing and opening the car door for her. And at the wedding, she envisions him staring at her and admiring her beauty.
Then her real husband comes out of the house wearing his old dark brown trousers that he bought in 1671 with one old black jacket. He jumps into the car and starts driving as soon as she closes her side door. When he gets to the wedding, he checks out all the cute girls, not to flirt with them but just to see them because he cannot “not to see” them. He doesn’t talk to his wife at the wedding much because he finds some of his friends and he carries on some conversations about politics and sport.
Then at the end of the party, the wife comes home feeling beaten up.
No, not because she danced hard at the party but she was thinking for the whole night how her fantasy husband could have made her happier than her real husband.
And on their way back home, she says, “We really need to talk about our marriage.”
He was driving the car dreaming a nice and romantic night with his wife when his wife asked him that question.
His desire died instantly and now he wants to just get home safe and get a peaceful and restful sleep. Driving the car quietly, he wishes his wife was a kind of woman who is care-free and doesn’t demand too much of her man’s attention. He wishes his woman was a romantic woman who says to him on their way back, “I can’t wait to get home and be alone with you, Baby!”
Where does this perfect woman live? She only lives in his fantasy world! Nowhere else because she is not real.
Do you see how this “perfect fantasy spouse” gets on their way of happiness?
So, if you are a married person, remember that you carry this perfect fantasy spouse in your mind. What you need to do is this:
Strive always to be the spouse God calls you to be (Ephesians 5:22-30). When you do that, you won’t have time to imagine your spouse to be somebody else than who he/she already is. You don’t try to change him/her. You will always be busy to change yourself according to the word of God so you’ll be the best spouse you can be to your spouse and in the process, you become the person God calls you to be. This, my friend, makes you enjoy your marriage, your spouse and yourself and live happily ever after! ///