“I Was a Virgin”

A4P Guest: Hi Missy. After reading many of your conversations you had with lots of people, I felt like I wanted to ask you this question. For some reason, I kind of know what you’re going to tell me but I wanna hear it from you. I’m 25 years old. I was in my church’s worship team and I had a very good life until I met this man. He is 28 years old. We met in church and he asked me out, actually he said to me, “I want to get married soon and I have no plan to get entangled in this dating process.

The day I saw you, I knew that you are my wife,” yada, yada, yada. And yes, stupid of me, I fell for all that. So, we dated for four months and he kept on saying that God had confirmed to him that I was his wife. Yes, I know you are going to ask me if I also heard from God too but I guess I was totally convinced by what he was telling me. Then he asked me for sex and I told me that I was a virgin. He was thrilled and told me that he already knew. Then to make a long story short, he pushed me into sex saying that it was the Spirit of God who was leading our relationship and that our journey shouldn’t fit in a box of “Appeal for Purity.” Yes, he said that. So, I slept with him. Then the next day, I was expecting him to call me but he disappeared for three days. Then I called him. You know what he said? He said, “I sinned against God and I am fasting and praying.” So, I left him alone. Then I missed my period. I called and told him that and he said, “I will tell you after I hear from God.” What should I do now? It’s been two weeks since I’ve heard from him. Do I need to hope in this man?

A4P: Wow! Hope in this man?
I mean I don’t want to call you stupid because you are not; but you did a very stupid mistake and guess what? We all are guilty of many stupid mistakes. So, don’t beat yourself up with more unnecessary guilt since you cannot change your past.
But it is good to own your mistake. The man has his share and you have your share too.
First thing first: “If” you are pregnant, have your baby. Don’t kill your baby. Do you hear me? Don’t kill your baby. Your baby is God’s abundant blessing in the midst of this dark season of life. You made a mistake but God didn’t make a mistake when He gave you a baby. So, don’t kill your baby to rectify your mistake. Killing your baby won’t solve a thing. It will actually add more guilt and burden on you, guilt that may never leave your life. So, please I beg you! Choose life and you’ll be thankful for the rest of your life that you let your baby live.
About the man, well, what more do I need to say about him? The spirit who told him to sleep with you will definitely tell him to abandon you and his baby. So, don’t hope in him.
Put your hope in God, not in a mere man.  
My dear sister, right now you may not be in a situation to hear advice because you are, I assume, emotionally fragile, disarrayed and confused. So, what you need is someone to come along and carry you through this dark path. If you have a good relationship with your mom, confide in her. 
Oh, my dearest, my heart goes out to you! I promise to keep you in my prayer.
But I can’t let you go without saying this to you: I applaud you for writing this to me. Yes, you have courage there and I am very proud of you! But I have no doubt that you didn’t tell anyone when you took all those steps that led you to this point. So, please, from this point forward, find people that you can confide your secret to especially in situations such as this one. Learn from this grievous mistake that doing life alone is a very dangerous thing. Have people in your life, people you can talk to, women who are spiritually, mentally and physically matured so they can speak the truth of God into your soul.
May God send kind, compassionate and caring people into your life! May God remember the right things you have done in the past! May His favor, grace and mercy comfort you! Yes, you will come out of this and remember these days with a smile. Count your blessings now knowing that the days ahead are going to be bright. Yes, you will be alright, because I know who Jesus Christ is. Listen the anointing of the Messiah (Jesus Christ) spoken of through Isaiah:
“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me (the Messaih),
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor
    and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
     and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor. ” (Isaiah 61:1-3)
“For the display of His splendor”, Jesus Christ will restore you back. Rest in Him. No, don’t put your hope in man but in Christ Jesus. ///