The Stakes Are Too High

How can I thank you enough, all of you the Appeal for Purity’s social media fans?

I am short for words to express my gratitude and appreciation. You sure made our 20th wedding anniversary exceptionally beautiful by all your Likes, nice Comments, and Shares. I appreciate you all very much! May God bless you!
If this is your first time running into this page, let me tell you what has been going on here.
Today is our, my husband and I, 20th wedding anniversary and I wanted to celebrate this milestone on this page for seven days, and today is the last day of our celebration. That means you have six days’ worth of posts to read and catch up on.
Praise God for this wonderful day!
I have to be honest though, the weather here in Maryland right now is blech, if you know what I mean.
It’s okay, though. My husband and I still had a wonderful time at dinner yesterday night, and we’ll plan another wonderful way to remember and enjoy this day.
My little one, Biruk, brightened up my day this morning with his prayer.
In the morning, I take him to school, and he and I pray turn by turn; luckily enough today was his turn. So, he prayed the most heartwarming prayer you will ever hear from a 14-year old young man.
“Thank You, Lord, for my mom and dad’s 20th wedding anniversary today! Thank You for keeping this family intact through all these years and – – -”
Let me tell you something: if you ask me how I see my marriage, I will say that my husband and I have a wonderful marriage. We both believe in working through our problems; we both don’t like disrespecting each other; we both strive to cheer each other up, even when we don’t feel like it. When I get grumpy – yes, I get grumpy every month (my husband doesn’t usually get grumpy because he is a man) – my husband even knows that the best thing to do is to leave me alone. So, we’re thankful for our oneness and we give praise and honor to Jesus who is the author of every good and praiseworthy for helping us through all these days.
But what has been the most amazing thing for me throughout our marriage is this: our kids care about our marriage a lot.
Let me tell you one story.
So, my husband and I were talking about politics. Remember, my brain doesn’t work well when the topic of the discussion is politics, because I don’t always get it. But I am still an opinionated person. So, I sometimes find something to say about the news. My husband knows my “not so good” knowledge about politics very well, and he just listens to me to make me feel good about myself. Don’t you love that? I do.
But sometimes, he goes on explaining things even if nothing seems to be sticking. So, on this particular day, we were discussing what some candidate said, why he or she said it, and so on. We didn’t realize that we were raising our voices in the middle of the discussion.
Our only daughter was playing with her toys in the leaving room (we were in the kitchen which is next to the living room). She was about three and half years old. Our two boys were sucked into a game of monopoly and didn’t pay any attention to us. Then Lydia (who is now 16) got up, walked up to me, came to me, and grabbed my hand and said, “Please mom, don’t get a divorce! Please don’t!”
We were totally bewildered and shocked! We looked at each other and immediately stopped our discussion.
That’s a very big word for a three or four year old girl to know and understand. But when we raised our voice, she connected the dots and probably said something to herself like, “I know where this thing is leading; let me stop it before it gets there.”
But how did she know? Who told her about divorce? I didn’t! But who?
A little while later, I probed her brain while giving her a shower. I learned that she heard it in her preschool, which she joined only a month ago. One of her classmates, another little girl, had cried the whole day, and Lydia asked her what was wrong; the little girl told her, “My mom and dad were fighting a lot, and now they are getting a divorce and I am going to live with my mom and my dad is going to leave the house.”
Let me just tell you something: my daughter loves her dad! I mean, she loves me too but when it comes to her dad, oh, she loves him to death.
The little girl’s last statement strung a chord with Lydia, and she was terrified. So she wanted to do her part, thinking that she could make a difference.
Yes, our children, your children and my children, want us, their parents, to live together. They want us to love one another. They want us to work through our differences. They want us to stick it out no matter what. They want us to fight for our marriages. They want us to never give up on our families and marriage. They feel safe and secure when they see us together, loving, kissing, and caring for one another.
Many studies have shown that children who grow up with their mothers and fathers do better in life. They go to school and strive for excellence. There is much less of a chance that they will have behavioral problems, and they don’t exhibit risky behaviors. They have a positive outlook on life. They build their first “healthy” concept, notion, or impression of God from their parents, and they will choose to love God and follow Him if they see their parents live Christianity, not only speak it. If they depart from the way for a while, they have a tendency to bounce back and find their way again.
The list goes on and on and on! And this is what I’m trying to say today, especially to you young married couples:
Your marriage is not only a matter of you and your spouse, but it is a matter of the next generation. The stakes are too high for you to not care about your marriage. What happens in your marriage will affect and impact your children in multiple ways for the rest of their lives. So, fight for your marriage no matter what. Decide to work through your conflicts and problems. Work hard on your garden. Cultivate and foster love and care, which need time and attention to grow. Be ready to always forgive your spouse, and stay positive as you work towards the goal of making your marriage the kind of marriage in which the glory of Jesus will be clearly displayed for all to see. Don’t hesitate to seek help whenever you face hardships and problems that are beyond you. Be diligent to put wise advice into your life and marriage. Don’t only be a hearer of good advice, but a doer, too. Dare to join your spouse in prayer’ it’s hard to start, but once you do and see the result, it’s gonna be hard to stop. And at last, dare to be faithful in your call, as a wife or as a husband. Just focus on your call, not on your spouse’s call, and leave the rest to God!
Oh, Jesus Christ knows what and how to do it when you give Him the part that belongs to Him. If you give your part to Him, and just expect Him to do it all for you, you will be miserable, because God never does that. He is a disciplined God; He shows you your part and waits for you to do it, so He may surprise you by swiftly taking care of His part.
If that was not the case, the word of God wouldn’t say, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.” (Galatians 6:7)
If the word of God says, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22), God is not going to come down from heaven and submit to your husband on your behalf – you’re going to have to do that! God’s mercy is new every morning; the Holy Spirit is with you, and the grace of God is on you to help you obey this word.
If the word of God says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25), God is not going to send His Son back down again to die on the cross for your wife – you are the one who is called to do that! But remember that the Holy Spirit and the grace of God that are yours in Christ Jesus are with you to support and encourage you to do that.
May the LORD help us all to fight for our marriages till the end, because none of us has any excuse not to. ///
P. S. Because of the format of the video, we can’t caption this video in English; but if you read this post, you won’t miss a thing.