“- – – their decision to make me a pastor”

A4P Guest: I’m a second year university student. I grew up in a Christian home and I don’t remember when and how I came to believe in Christ. I guess when I opened my eyes, I found a life that was in Christ and I followed it. So, I believe in Jesus and I love Jesus. I’m always involved in my church ministry. I began singing in the children’s choir as a seven year old boy and now, I’m going to be ordained as a pastor for the whole children and youth ministry of our church. But the problem is I have this secret life that nobody knows about. I’m in a serious porn addiction. Porn has been consuming and taking over my life since I was 16. I have no other problem in my life but this one thing that has claimed my whole life. I am constantly thinking about it, being too obsessed with it the whole day and night. I cried and cried before God many times. I fasted many times and at one time I fasted for a month with water and dry bread. I was free from it for another month but I went right back to it. In the contrary, you have no idea how many people come to me and tell me how God blessed them through my teachings and songs (I sometimes sing and lead worship too). When I stand behind the pulpit, I come alive and preach the Word with boldness and conviction. But that conviction is short lived. Now, the minsters of my church called me the other day and told me that they decided to ordain me as a pastor because they trusted me. May I accept their decision to make me a pastor? What should I do?

A4P: First, let me say this. You are one of thousands who are in the same condition. Why am I telling you this? So, you know that you and your situation are not unique. It is actually becoming the norm of our times, it seems.
Second, don’t expect your church ministers to have a revelation from God about your secret life if that is what you are expecting to happen next. God rarely chooses to deal with this kind of issue that way.
Third, stop your church ministers from proceeding with the process to ordain you as a pastor. Some people say, “These days, many church ministers are in porn addiction and God doesn’t care about it.” Please don’t follow this kind of belief that came directly from hell. Don’t dare to see the holy and just God as a puppet. He doesn’t compromise with His holiness. Yes, there are many porn addicts who decided to live and minister the people of God as they are without dealing with their hidden issues; but you, young man, take action to spare your life, minding your own business, not others’.
Fourth, disqualify yourself from the ministry before God Himself does that for you. Some people say, “Yes, that is exactly what I want. It is hard for me to disqualify myself and I want God to do it in whatever way He wants. It is just hard for me to confess what I’m doing secretly.” I know, it is tough but listen to me carefully please. From what I’ve seen, when people disqualify themselves from the ministry, the favor of God comes upon their lives; and their lives and their ministry take another level in the spiritual realm as God begins a brand new and anointed ministry through them. Why? Because God honors the humble and gives grace to them but He resists the proud who say, “Since they are thinking highly of me, I’m not going to tell them about my porn addiction.”
Fifth, always remember this. Christianity is not a religion but a spiritual relationship you have with Christ Jesus. God is Spirit and you can only worship and serve God in the Spirit of God. Porn is something that is done in the spirit of demons. When you fellowship with porn, you fellowship demons. You get taken over by it; you have no control over your life, the porn addiction itself controls you and your life. That means, it is impossible for your body to work in the spirit of demons when you view porn and to work in the spirit of God when you stand behind the pulpit. There is no such kind of thing. Only one master works through and in you. My brother, nobody can serve two masters at the same time, only one.
Sixth, know this please. You can’t win this battle by yourself. You need others to come along to your aid and rescue you. If the ministers in your church can’t help you for whatever reason, or if you find it very hard to go to them, seek help from other church ministers. You cannot and you should not continue keeping this as a secret. The Bible says, “A little yeast works through the whole batch.” (Galatians 5:9, 1 Corinthians 5:6) It is talking about how unconfessed and hidden sin takes over the whole congregation. So, be very careful that you won’t become the reason for others to also be held in porn addiction since the spirit you are in will minister to those who are sitting under your feet.
Seven, listen to me please. There is freedom in Christ. I’m not preaching to you here. I’m telling you the truth about the power of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus; the power I saw and tasted in my own private and personal battles and struggles. The Bible says, you and I are more than conquerors because of our faith in Christ. We are destined to be free from any bondage of sin through Jesus Christ. Victory belongs to you and I! Freedom from porn is only available to you and I who believe in Jesus Christ. But we have to always and continuously be willing to do the hard work of humbling ourselves.
I pray you’ll be willing to humble yourself before God and men so that God’s grace overwhelms your life and your ministry.
My dear beloved brother, the one whom Jesus died for; the one who is called “holy, a chose person, God’s special possession,” Jesus loves you more than you can ever know and imagine. My prayers are with you. ///
Two Important Disclaimers:
1. The purpose of the above post is only to create awareness in the area of porn addiction in churches. It is not in any way, shape or form a reflection of the whole counseling sessions. That means, this is not all there is to this kind of counseling. It is not a matter of one to seven points, boom but more. Awareness is the purpose of this post.
2. Every story you read on this page is tailored in a way to cover the identity of the person who gave us permission to share their stories with you all.