“I Thought I Found That Man”

A4P Guest: I read your blog yesterday about encouraging single girls to marry a man who loves Christ more than he loves the girl he is dating. Well, I thought I found that man and married him three years ago. All the spiritual things I thought he had were nothing but fake. I now don’t even think that he is a believer in Christ anymore. He is addicted to all sorts of Internet filthy stuff and he has no plan to deal with it. As he told me, he became addicted to this thing ten years ago. Had I known about this while we were dating, I wouldn’t have married him but there was no way for me to know that he was addicted while we were dating. And he didn’t tell me even if I shared with him everything about me. 

A4P: So, tell me how you came to know him and what had made you believe that he was in love with Christ more than he was in love with you?

A4P Guest: I met him in my church. I thought he was very spiritual because he used to talk about God 24/7 and if the church door opened for whatever reason, he was there. He missed no church program. He also used to preach in some church programs. I used to be blessed by every word he uttered. He encouraged me to grow in Christ and used to text me spiritual messages almost everyday.

A4P: From what you told me, I think, you were more in love with him than with Christ. I said that because you used to get your “spiritual daily bread” not from Christ but from him. And that experience kind of predisposed you into thinking that you found Christ as a husband.

A4P Guest: But unless I married him, there was no way for me to know what was going on inside his heart. Am I right?

A4P: Partly right. You can’t know what is in his heart but there were things you could look into to see if he was a phony or a real deal. Let me ask you before I went ahead and listed those things you were supposed to pay attention to. So, for how long have you guys dated?

A4P Guest: Three months. Why that short time, because he had to go to America and I had to marry him to go with him.

A4P: Did you guys receive any premarital counseling?

A4P Guest: No because of all the travel and all.

A4P: Did you guys have a wedding ceremony?

A4P Guest: Two wedding ceremonies, one in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and one in America. Everybody was saying in both wedding ceremonies that they felt the presence of God. ///

Two Important Disclaimers:
1. The purpose of the above post is only to create awareness in the area of dating and courting. It is not in any way, shape or form a reflection of the whole counseling sessions. “Why are you asking her these kinds of questions now? She can’t do anything about yesterday. Tell her what she can do today to save her marriage, don’t judge and condemn her about her past decisions. She might have been “a baby” in Christ at that time” kinds of comments are irrelevant given the purpose of this post.
2. Every story you read on this page is tailored in a way to cover the identity of the person who gave us permission to share their stories with you.