A4P Guest: I’m married and have a one-year old son. I used to consider myself blessed to have the most peaceful marriage ever until my husband’s mother came from Ethiopia a year ago to help us with our first child.
A4P: What happened?
A4P Guest: My mother-in-law is a Christian, she loves God, prays a lot and all. But she pretty much wants to be the woman of the house. She criticizes my cooking, the way I handle my son and more. Her intention might be good but her action irritates me so much that I sometimes lock myself up in my bedroom for the whole day. I feel like leaving or ask her to leave the house.
A4P: Did you talk to your husband about this?
A4P Guest: I tried once and he tearfully said that I had to find a way to live with her.
A4P: What does that mean?
A4P Guest: I think he is applying to get her a permanent resident visa and she is going to live with us more than I anticipated and that is my nightmare.
A4P: Let me ask you one question: Did you guys take premarital counseling/teaching before you got married?
A4P Guest: I don’t know if I call it counseling; but a day before our wedding, one of our church ministers took us both into his office and told us few things about what marriage is and how we need to stay married no matter what.
A4P: Okay, well, I don’t think I can give you one quick advice to solve this. But let me say this: I don’t think it is wise for you to leave or ask your mother-in-law to leave the house.
If you are looking for a quick fix, you may endanger the health of your marriage even further. What you need to look for is, I think, a long term solution which can only be found in sitting down and learning about marriage according to the Bible. If your church doesn’t give that much place to marriage and family, you need to find a marriage seminar churches or organizations/ministries are giving and go there. I know in your city, there is one best seminar coming up soon sponsored by Family Life Today called “Weekend to Remember.” Go to their website and register. It would be the best time for your husband’s mother to get an ample time with her grandson while you and your husband go and attend this seminar for a weekend. Try to buy the books the speakers recommend, and read those books with your husband, together or turn by turn. The truth of God will give you a right perspective about your marriage as well as your in-laws. ///