(True Story of a Young Man I met)
It was summer but the church I was invited to speak was in Europe and their summer was not as hot as here in DC. I enjoyed it but truth to be told, I was very thankful for the DC summer.
I didn’t know anyone in that church. Almost everybody in the congregation was seeing me for the very first time. I couldn’t even find one person who knew me of course except the people who invited me to speak.
I was very thankful that their leaders didn’t ask me question like “what is your topic for today?” That is just not a good question for me especially after knowing about my ministry. Without detail introduction, the minster gave me the mic and I stood behind the pulpit.
So, I began speaking about my life, how I received Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. I usually do that to calm the congregation down because some people get nervous when they hear me talk on a topic most ministers choose to shy away from. You see, some people think that most teachers and preachers are shying away from the topic of sex because sex is a bad or sinful thing. Beloved, if that was the case; those godly ministers would have been thrown into hell for marrying a wife at the age 21 and having sex until they die at age 81.
So, anyways, I shared my two minutes life testimony before I say “Without holiness no one can see God.”
There were lots of people there but from all the people who were quietly listening to me, I noticed one guy, dressed, shaved and groomed nicely, sitting at the third row from the back. Well, he was (still is) a handsome guy but that was not what caught my attention but how attentive he was. He was listening to me as if he and I were the only ones in that chapel.
My topic was “Danger of Living in Sexual Immorality”. First, I thought he was just staring at me while he was going around mall, buying shoes in his mind (which I sometimes tend to do) but when I asked question, he responded back correctly.
There was a short break in between and after a break, the guy came two or three rows up close to the pulpit. Now I could see that he had a notebook and a pen (rare things to see among Christians these days, especially Christian men, and I don’t know why).
He was writing as if he was writing every word which was coming out of my mouth. After speaking for one hour, I gave the mic back to the minister there so that the Q & A session would continue. I thought the guy would ask question but he didn’t ask any. After four or five questions, we closed the program.
And some people came to me wanting to ask questions privately and some wanted to take my contact info and everything. I saw that guy coming to the front and sat down on the front row. He was gazing outside the window and sometimes he was looking at the side I was standing and talking to people. Then I was a bit nervous for him sitting there for a long time. So I said “I’m sorry” for the person I was talking to and said to him, “Are you waiting for me?” He said “Yes, but no rush; take your time. I will talk to you at the end.”
Hmm, was I curious to talk to him? You better believe it. Well, I finished with everybody and the only people left there were the two ministers, I, and the guy. I turned to the minsters and said “just give last few minutes”.
So, I turned to him and introduced myself and asked his name. He told me his name and said “Since you stood for a long time, please sit here.” I noticed his gentleness but I still didn’t have a clue what he was about to talk to me. So after I sat down, he said; “I won’t hold you for a long time. Promise!”
I didn’t know him before but I could tell that something happened to him in that congregation because his face was glowing. And he began like this:
“I received Jesus Christ very recently, like few months ago. I just finished learning in this church everything they teach for all new converts; things such as what it means to be a follower of Christ Jesus, how to read the Bible, the importance of fasting and praying and other things. I was coming to this church almost for a year without committing my life to Christ. And after I received Christ to my heart, I asked one girl out for a date. She sings in the church choir.
On our first date, we kissed and for the first time in my life, I felt dirty for kissing a girl. I kissed some girls before but I’ve never felt that way before. I didn’t know what that feeling was but since she was in Christ for a longer period of time than I, I thought, “If it is okay with her, it must be okay thing for me to do.” However that explanation didn’t give me that much peace in my heart.
On our third date, she wanted to come to my apartment and I said “sure”. Well, she wanted to see my one bedroom apartment around and when she got to the bedroom, she jumped on the bed and said “I love it. This is comfy” and she invited me to sleep next to her.
I was a little perplexed and asked her; “Isn’t this thing wrong before marriage?” She quickly replied, chuckling, “Who said that? Please, don’t believe those ministers at the church. They are phonies. They tell us to do something they don’t even do. “So and so” said that to you? Well, let me tell you a little bit about him: he sleeps with two other women besides his wife. And he is still in the ministry. You see, people put lots of emphasis on sex but the Bible doesn’t. It is something for us to enjoy. How can the good God say no to something as pleasurable as sex? Tell me! Just enjoy it and don’t let this ignorant people put you back in bondage – – – ”
Well, the rest, he didn’t hear her or didn’t remember.
After the fact, he felt so depressed that he couldn’t talk to her. She wanted to cook for him but he lost all his appetites for food or anything. He felt guilty but didn’t know why he felt that way. He slept with girls before but he had never had this guilty feeling.
The next day, she called him and said “Today is Friday and there is choir practice and we will finish around 8 or 9pm. I will come directly from there. I wanted to spend my Friday with you. Don’t worry about dinner since I’m going to bring our dinner.”
He agreed but he felt “pushed”. She came before he finished setting up his apartment. And she slept over there.
Then in the morning, he wanted to die. That was very weird for him. He was not (is not) an emotional person. His character is not the kind some men have; they are nice and friendly today and tomorrow they will be nasty and annoyingly argumentative. But this young man was not (is not) like that. He has a very stable character. He had a very good life until he met this girl. And he never had a situation in his life which made him desire death.
Then he realized that there were some sort of spiritual things involved but couldn’t connect the dots. He didn’t want to tell the ministers who were mentoring him because he was scared of their reaction.
I asked “Why didn’t you tell them?”
He said “I was afraid that they would say something like, “You are just nervous to be with a woman. You will get used to it after two or three women”?” So I knew that was not the answer I was looking for.”
I didn’t blame him for thinking that because that was the kind of picture the girl drew for him.
So, since he learned about fasting and praying, how effective it was to seek the face of God, he knelt down and said to God “LORD, I will fast and pray for three days to seek Your face; so that You may answer my questions.” So he jotted down his questions.
While he was telling me this, he pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, on which he wrote his questions. He said “These were my questions to God”. He handed me over the paper.
Looking through those questions, I asked him; “So, did the girl move with you or how were you able to fast and pray while you were sleeping and having sex with her?”
He smiled and said “She wanted to move with me but I said to her to take it all easy. She’s already started to talk to me about marriage which I didn’t have any intention of. And after I decided to fast and pray, I told her not to call me or come to my apartment.”
I asked him about her response. He said, “Well” he smiled and continued, “she said “Are you planning to be the next Billy Graham? Please, give me a break! Don’t be like those boring born-again Christian guys who wear purity bracelets everywhere.” I didn’t respond to her but told her again that I wouldn’t want her to bother me within those three days.”
I asked him: “All this time, she was singing in the choir, wasn’t she?” He said, with a sad face, “Yes, she was. And that was the other thing. Whenever I see her on that stage, covering her eyes and raising her hands up high, singing and worshiping, I feel sick to my stomach.” Pointing to one of his questions on that piece of paper, he said “That was one of my questions I wanted God to respond back to me.”
You see, the day I met him, according to him, was his third day of fasting and praying. One of his friends told him about the program but didn’t tell him what the program was all about. Since God didn’t answer any of his questions, even at the third day, he decided to come to church. But before he left his apartment, he knelt down on his knees; pulled out that piece of paper from his pocket, opened it and held it up high on the air, as if God was not able to read his questions if he kept it in his pocket; and said “LORD, I know You will answer all my questions. So I thank You.”
He came to church (which was/is his home church) hoping that God somehow would speak to him through someone. “But” he continued, “I didn’t expect that someone to be you, a woman. When I saw you, I thought to myself, how can God give me answer to all my questions through this woman?” But I decided to stay, anyways.”
At this point, his face lit up even more than it was before and said, with a pleasant smile “God answered all my ten questions through your teaching. All of your ten points were actually the answers for all my ten questions.”
My teaching that day had ten points. Amazing how God works!
He added “That is all. I just wanted to share this with you. You may not realize what God did in your teaching today. Here I am a witness. So, please continue to do this more often. And please if there is anything I can help you with, let me know. May I have your email?”
I gave him all my contacts and before he left, I asked him this “So, what is your plan about your date?” I have to ask that, otherwise my curiosity would haunt me later.
He said, with a neutral look, “Well, I will tell her that I’m done with her.”
Well, I’m a woman and I don’t want to see any woman being hurt. So I said “Can you tell her in a nice, loving, brotherly and respectful way?”
He said “I sure will”.
After a week, he emailed me asking me a question regarding a Bible verse or something. After that we started communicating via email often. He found a date. He told me about her and I liked her and they dated for few weeks and after we discussed some of his concerns, I agreed with him to break up with her.
Then he found a beautiful girl. He sent me her pictures and I loved her instantly. He started giving me some updates about their date. I used to warn him to never trust himself; never to put himself in a very tempting environment and of course told him to save his kiss and sex for their honeymoon night.
Wow, I literally saw the hands of God working miracle in this young and handsome man’s life. Everything seemed to fall at the right time and at the right place.
He relentlessly sought the Will of God. He was determined to “find” a wife so that he can stay away from sexual temptations. He understood the risk of not pursuing a woman and staying single for long. He captured the truth and hid it all in his heart. His tenacity to do it all according to the Word of God was unparalleled.
I introduced him to my husband. They instantly clicked because they were (still are) working in the same field. At this time, since he talked to my husband more often than me, I came to know his girl very well.
He told us about his proposal and how it went well. We were more than happy for him. My husband and I supported and helped him through prayer and counseling until we saw him vowing before God, us, and other people, to “return” that beautiful girl back to her own “original place” (his missing “rib”) and to be one with her until death do them part.
Yesterday, I thought about him and called him to ask him if I could write an article on his life story and post it on Facebook. He said this, his exact words; “Please do it; if it is going to benefit someone out there, please do it. If God finds something in me that is worth sharing, please, by all means, do it. You have my full permission.”
And he laughed and said; “Don’t forget to mention that you’ve taught that day on ten points around sexual immorality and those ten points were my ten questions.” And we both laughed remembering that beautiful summer afternoon.
And before we said bye to each other, he said; “BTW, I wrote all of your points you shared with us that day and I still have them on my notebook. I will show you soon when I see you in person again.”
Wow, all words fail short to describe my joy in Christ. What can I say, except to say may all the glory and praise be to Him alone who is the Author of all good and perfect gifts! ///
P.S. Since the man of the above story is reading this, let me say this directly to him: Thank you so much, my dear brother, for letting me share your story with all my FB friends and families. My beloved brother, I not only love you but I also respect you for who you are and who you are becoming into. I will never forget your “manly” strength to pursue holiness and purity. Wow, am I excited and eager to see this same zeal in your sons and daughter? You better believe it! May the LORD continue blessing you so that you will be a role model to other young Christian men! Hope to see you and your better half soon.
(As part of the Appeal for Purity’s two year anniversary celebration, which is going to be on Oct. 31, I will re-post some of my previous short and long blogs. By doing that, those who are new to this page will get a chance to read them. The above blog was originally posted on January 30, 2014.)