A4P Guest: I am in love with a girl I’ve known since high school. We were just friends back then, but now, we each found out that we are in love. We study the Bible online once a day and we talk about everything under the sun. I feel very connected to her and I think this is THE ONE! We both want to honor God in our dating as well as marriage life. So, do you advise us to take a premarital class now or wait until I propose to her and start the wedding process?
A4P: (Thank you for giving me permission to share our conversation on the page! Bless you!)
Congratulations for finding THE ONE! I am very happy for you! Yeah, sure, I advise you to propose to her first before you guys take a premarital class.
A4P Guest: The problem is we don’t live in the same country. I live in the US and she lives in Germany. Is it okay to propose to her online?
A4P: Hold on a second. So, are you guys dating online, on Facebook?
A4P Guest: You can say that. But as I told you earlier, we’ve known each other since high school, back home in Eritrea. The first time I saw her picture on Facebook, I recognized her and sent her a friend request and since that day, we’ve been chatting on FB and also talking on Skype. I know this is the one because she understands me; she thinks the way I think. We have excellent mental compatibility. I feel like she is part of who I’m.
A4P: Okay, so, how long this “dating on Facebook” has been going on?
A4P Guest: Three weeks.
A4P: Did a day ever go by without you guys chatting or talking online?
A4P Guest: That is what I’m saying. We literally can’t let a day go by without seeing each other on Skype or chatting on Facebook. I’m extremely excited and happy.
A4P: Sorry for being the one to burst your bubble, but I believe this online dating thing works perfectly only if the marriage is going to be online.
The person you are in love with is a virtual person. Let me explain what that means: a virtual person is a person whose personality is formed with perfectly designed images and notes. It is like watching a movie and falling in love with the main actor. A virtual person has the power to make herself/himself resistibly attractive because there is always a “dress-rehearsal session” before every presentation. Different situations don’t present themselves but situations are created to make the virtual person more intelligent, attractive and smarter than they are. A perfect person attracts all of us!
So, here is my short advice for you:
Try to know her outside the virtual world (find a way for two of you to live in the same area so that your dating will be none-virtual) – Remember that the virtual her and the real her might be two completely different people (the same with you).
Instead of having a Bible study with her every day, (which won’t help you both to grow spiritually since you both are “performing” to project the perfect you), fellowship with other Christian men and study Bible with them (tell her to do the same as well);
Don’t let a day go by without you sitting before God and talking to Him and reading, studying, and meditating the Word of God; meaning strive to love God more than you love the girl. This is THE KEY to do dating and courting in a way that glorifies God and gives you joy, peace and rest!
The Bible says, “ But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 (NASB) – which things will be added to you? Good wife, good marriage, good family, and everything you need!
Last but not least: You said she thinks like you and reasons like you. Are you planning to marry a copy of you? I hope you won’t. To find someone who is not necessarily the opposite of you but a person who complements you, who is THE ONE (Genesis 2:24), you need to look for her while you date a girl in the real world, not in the virtual one. ///