Sexual Problem in a Marriage

A4P Guest: I’m married with one child.

A4P: Okay.

A4P Guest: We’ve been married for the last three years. Throughout my married life, I have never experienced any sexual pleasure.

A4P: What do you think is the reason?

A4P Guest: My husband asks me to do things which I feel very uncomfortable to do but I do it anyways for the sake of my marriage. And I always carry with me this heavy burden in my heart that takes away my sexual feelings and desires. I don’t pray anymore and I don’t go to church that much often.

A4P: Did you try to communicate this with your husband? Did you tell him that you are not enjoying any part of the sex?

A4P: Yes I did tell him many times! But he always says, “You will get used to it.” And I don’t get used to it and I hate it!

A4P: Can you tell me some of the things he is asking you to do?

A4P Guest: Oh, no! I can’t tell you! I sometimes cry myself to asleep after the fact. I hate myself, my marriage and even my life. I don’t know what to do. To tell you the truth, the only reason for me to live today is my son.

A4P: I don’t think it is the will of God for you to live like this. You need to seek help from your local church ministers who may sit with both of you.

A4P Guest: I don’t think I can do that because he is a well-respected “spiritual” man in our church and if I tell them what he’s been doing with me, they may actually see me as an evil woman who goes around and bad-mouths her husband.

A4P: But there is also a chance that they may not see you like that. Regardless of your fear, I advise you to go and seek help. You may find a minister who may believe your story and without judging your husband may help you guys to sort things out. And you don’t have to stand behind the pulpit to ask for help. Just go to one of the ministers and try to open up. Not like, “My husband is a bad and sinful man.” No, not like that. Your husband might not be a bad person! Maybe you didn’t understand his sexual nature. That means you both may need counseling and mentoring in the sexual area of your life. So, just go and say something like, “I think my husband and I need help in our marriage. I want to be a good wife to my husband. Please help us.”

I am sure a sensible person can understand the problem clearly and guide you in the right path. There is help for this problem and you shouldn’t let one day pass by before you reach out to someone for help. ///