Questions on the post titled “Sex on Skype”

A4P Guest: . . . . If a couple can’t be together to have sex because of immigration problem, why don’t they use Skype? Instead of burning from sexual desire and be tempted to . . . in this way they can protect each other . . . . When you do not know in what situation this couple is, how can you judge them for using Skype as their sexual outlet? Do you think they prefer to do it on Skype? I think the problem is this: We have hard time to understand others’ problem when we do not experience the problem ourselves . . .

A4P: Use Skype for what?

For sex? Sex on Skype is not called sex but mutual masturbation as I stated on “Sex on Skype” blog.

This world equates sexual intimacy with all other sensual practices such as mutual masturbation but sexual intimacy is different from all these practices. To make that differentiation from the outset will set a stage for me to discuss the issue head-on.

Judge them?

One day the religious people blamed Jesus for judging his listeners. And Jesus gave them one basic truth which dumbfounded them all: The Truth you know is the one to judge you; not Me (John 12). Yes, that truth which comes to us squarely is the one to judge us, no one else, not even Jesus.

“If we do not experience the problem ourselves . . .”?

When I was a teenager, learning from others’ experience for me was a very low level of method of learning. What was my method of learning? Experiencing it, BY MYSELF! I thought that was the only way for me to get to the truth.

Well, as you can guess, my ineffective and lame method didn’t profit me anything except messing up my life and dreams.

So, I learn this important lesson from one of the old Romanian proverbs: “Only the foolish learn from experience — the wise learn from the experience of others.”

It was like a slap on my face the day I saw this truth clearly. Then I began to read, not fiction books but, books written by people who had first-hand experience with the issue of life they are addressing. Then I began to learn how to spare my life as I learn not from a firsthand personal life experiences but from others’ experience.

My friend, as you guessed it, I didn’t write the “Sex on Skype” blog from my personal experience but from what I know and learn to be true about sexual intimacy and pleasure God ordained to married couples and all the alternatives this world, our flesh and the devil presents to us.

Being engaged on a mutual masturbation practice on Skype won’t save anyone from burning from sexual desires. Actually it throws a couple into “sensual-burning-desires” which can’t be quenched by any form of masturbation.

No couple can protect each other from sexual temptation by being engaged in a mutual masturbation practice. If we think masturbation relieves one from sexual desire, we are thinking sexual intimacy as nothing but achieving orgasm. I’m sure none of you wants me to go over that again; explaining how sexual intimacy is not all about achieving orgasm. I said it enough, didn’t I? So, I don’t want to waste your time here.

So, this is my message for today regarding these and similar comments about that blog: Read books written by spiritual authors who spend most of their times on studying about human sexuality in light of Scriptures. I already recommended most of the books I read on this page; get and dive in to those books and learn as much as you can. As long as we stop trying to justify our sin-raided-lifestyles and strive to align our life to the Word and Will of God, we see the truth clearly! God is patient with us. He works with us according to our own individual pace. The little humble step we take today will take us a long way because God honors that tiny step.

Let’s not cave in to thinking that there are exceptional life situations where God’s grand skim of things regarding sexual purity and immorality will be compromised. Wow! I have been there and I desire never to let myself be in that kind of thinking ever again! It is dangerous thinking! No exceptional life situation!

Sometimes when we see the fact of life through the glasses of our own personal life and experience, it will be difficult for us to swallow the truth. But if we see the truth as it is, we will receive grace from God for us to fall down on our knees and say, “Forgive me LORD for I not know what I was doing. Please save me from myself.” Yes, God always gives grace to the humble but resist the proud who goes around and tries to disprove, discredit and disregard the Word, Will and Truth of God (James 4:6, 1 Peter 5:5: Proverbs 3:34). ///