If I’m not mistaken, I wrote about this topic few months ago but it came to my attention in a different way and I want to say a word or two about it again.
So, after Adam and Eve sinned against God, God cursed them. Here is the last part of the curse God put on the woman.
To the woman God said, “- – – Your desire will be for your husband – – -.” Genesis 3:16
Hmm . . . what does that sound like? Is she cursed to sexually desire her husband?
Well, it may sound like, "It is a curse for a woman to sexually desire her husband" but is that a curse? Does a husband consider himself or his wife as cursed if his wife desires him for sex?
Are you serious! If a man could have a “litmus paper” which he could use to run the test to see whether a woman he picks to marry is going to desire him sexually throughout his married life or not, he would have used it and he would have married only that woman with a “positive test.”
When a wife sexually desires her husband, it is not a curse but a blessing! And a husband considers himself as a man who is “immensely” blessed by God to have that kind of a wife!
Can you just imagine a wife sitting at the corner of her house and begging her husband to sleep with her and a husband praying to God, “LORD, how could you give me this kind of a cursed wife?”
Nah! He won’t have time to ask God that because he would be busy enjoying his wife.
(Side Note: It will be a curse though if a woman is not married to the man she sexually desires to have since the desire is considered as lust and lust, as you know, brings death and destruction to human life! – Matthew 5:27-28)
Okay, so let’s cross reference Genesis 3:16 with Genesis 4:6 so that we can understand what that curse is all about.
When Cain got jealous of his brother, Abel, he wanted to kill him. And God came to Cain and said: “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it DESIRES TO HAVE YOU, but you must rule over it.” Genesis 4:6 (capitalization is mine to make the emphasis)
Do you notice the word “desire?” It is the same word “desire” used in Genesis 3:16. Here the word desire refers to “the sin of murder” wanting to control and rule over Cain. God told Cain to take control and “rule over” the sin of murder before it ruled over him. Well, you know the story. Cain didn’t hear God. So he was taken over by the desire of sin!
Well, when we bring that definition or I will say, explanation over to Genesis 3:16, the curse is literally saying this: “Because you sinned, throughout your married life you will always want to control and rule over your husband’s life” (This is my paraphrase of Genesis 3:16) and that “want” will destroy marriage because all husbands, the last thing they desire from their wives is to be controlled by them and the result of that is divorce or "sour marriage"! That is what curse is all about: It brings death and destruction!.
Let’s face it! Most of us, wives, want to control our husbands’ life, starting from when they need to get up in the morning to pray, how they need to chew their food, to when they have to close their eyes to sleep. Unless we know this tendency which is ingrained and imprinted on each of our fiber and fight against it, we will become the most “unsuitable” life partners to our husbands and we become the reason to destroy our marriages as the Bible says, “with her own hands the foolish one (wife) tears hers (her marriage) down.” Proverbs 14:1b
Yes, we all wives have this tendency, in a small or big way, and we have to fight it back!
The Bible says, “Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: “Cursed is everyone who is hung on a pole.”” Galatians 3:13
Wow! The Truth!
But unless we know which part is the curse and how to deny its existence in our lives, how can we enjoy our redeemed life and marriage?
Well, this is what I’m trying to say:
When a wife sexually desires her husband, it is a blessing not a curse. But there is one naturally ingrained desire in her heart which she has to fight against; i.e. a desire to control her husband. This natural desire is in her heart because of the curse caused by the fall of Eve. But every wife, who has accepted Jesus’ redemptive work on the Cross, is free from the curse and is entitled to receive the blessing of Christ. It is very imperative for a wife to know this truth and fight back the curse which lurks into her heart. Once a wife knows that and holds on to the blessing she has through Jesus, she becomes a woman of her man’s dream. ///
P. S. A man is also cursed to desire to be a dictator-leader over his wife’s life – which is a curse I may come back to some other time – but for now, let me say this: Husband’s redeemed call is for him to be a servant-leader to his wife and children – Ephesian 5.