After we had our first son, I was a little confused and depressed. Before the baby, the only two people I was living for were the man I loved to death (I still do love him to death), my Berhan, and myself. My Berhan has never needed my help for him to live. So, my life was a breeze!
Then, BOOM! Our son came along! And life took a completely different turn. I mean, I was pregnant for nine months and I was expecting the baby to come along, but I thought having a baby and being a mother was a matter of a week-long celebration. I believed that life would go back to where it was before but it never did. Within a blink of an eye, so it seemed, I was 24 hours on call so that one tiny baby would make it in this world.
It would be an understatement if I said I was a mess! I didn’t want to get up in the morning. Good and uninterrupted sleep became a story of the past. I was breastfeeding my baby as often as, so it seemed, every half an hour.
My mom came from Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to help me out. Yeah, some of you may think that I am so spoiled to feel blue after I had those extra two helping hands, but for me those two extra hands didn’t mean anything. I was very down and I was struggling even to comb my hair, which used to be my routine every morning. (BTW, this episode is called Postpartum Depression – I will talk about it some other time).
My mom quickly noticed that I was depressed and she was doing everything she could to make me happy.
One Saturday morning, maybe three or four weeks after we had our first son, my Mom recommended that I buy new clothes. My Berhan loved the idea, but I didn’t because I was already four or five sizes up and the idea of facing that reality for me was unthinkable.
But when I saw their excitement, I said to myself, “Let me not burst their bubbles.” and agreed with the idea.
I bought a suit (pants with its jacket). Those suits covered all those extra pounds very well that I liked them. I didn’t expect myself to like them but I did.
The next morning, I came downstairs with my pajama and messy hair, carrying my baby. My mom was sitting in the kitchen. She looked at me and said, “Where are the new outfits?”
I said to her, with a tone, “I have nowhere to go,” and rolled my eyes as if to say, “Come back to reality; I have no life anymore.”
She said with the most loving mother kind of tone, “Oh, my daughter, you don’t have to go anywhere for you to look good.”
I said, “Next Saturday we have a wedding to go to. I will wear it then.”
Smiling at me, as if to say, “I used to think that way but not anymore,” she said, “Who told you that tomorrow is going to be yours? Today is the day for you to live not tomorrow. Bring the baby to me and go upstairs, wear the new clothes and look good. If we won’t have anywhere to go, we will go for a walk.”
That truth hit me right between the eyes. I didn’t even hesitate. I gave her the baby and went upstairs.
Yes, today is the day we are given to get it right, not tomorrow. If we don’t get it right today, there is a high probability that we won’t get it right tomorrow because tomorrow is a different day; and when tomorrow comes, it will come with a different problem of its own. And tomorrow is as they said, “ a mystery” not a reality. It may not come as we think it will.
As the Bible says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:34)
What we need to fix today needs to be fixed today, not tomorrow because when tomorrow comes (and becomes today), it comes with a problem of its own and adding our “yesterday’s” problem to our today will make our today a lot harder than it is supposed.
Yes, yesterday (with its problems) must remain as history and tomorrow must be left alone as a mystery that we can’t depend on but today as they said is “a present” from God for us to face our struggles head on so that we receive our tomorrows with faith, hope and courage. ///