I tend to receive many questions in the area of sexual purity and immorality; questions I have no clue about; and questions, I think I have an answer for.
And I sometimes ask a question such as: “Why does this person ask this” because there is always a reason behind every question.
I have no way of knowing the reason, motive and intention of everyone who is asking me a question; however whenever I receive questions such as the following, I pause for a moment:
“Where does it say in the Bible oral sex is a sin?”
“Where exactly can I find in the Bible where it says sex before marriage is a sin?”
“Where does the Bible say marriage should be done before man and God?”
“Where does the Bible say marriage certificate is important to have sex?”
“Which Bible verse does it say masturbation is a sin?”
“Can you prove to me from the Bible how passionate physical touch and kissing before marriage are considered sins?”
“Where exactly does the Bible say sex before marriage is a sin?”
Yes, I pause when I receive these and other similar questions and I tend to ask people different questions to see why they are asking and this is the one common reason I found from many people:
They ask because they think that someone will convince them to stop their sexually promiscuous lifestyles by quoting and explaining a Bible verse.
What they’re saying is this: “If you convince me biblically how it is a sin to be sexually immoral, I will decide to come out of it.”
If we read the Bible, we can’t find even one Bible verse where it says something like, “Jesus explained the truth for him clearly and he got it and he left his sinful lifestyle,” or, “She stops sleeping around after her neighbor explained it to her how sex before marriage is dangerous.”
Why? Enlightenment of our mind about sexual sin is not good enough to free us from sinful lifestyles. The long standing thinking pattern which is now a stronghold in our life won’t disappear because someone quotes a verse from the Bible and explains it to us.
Do we call unbelievers to Christ by explaining what heaven is like? Do we even know what heaven is in its totality? Do we know how Jesus loved us to the point of dying on the Cross? How can we explain that?
Let’s say we were able to explain it all, which human mind can take that all in? Which human brain is equipped to “process” all the information about heaven, God and Jesus?
God doesn’t call us to understand Him but to trust Him. He doesn’t call us to figure Him out but to accept Him as He is. He doesn’t call us to first understand Him and then obey him but He called us to first obey Him out of reverence and love for Him and understand Him later.
Precious, I’m not saying here that all the questions I tend to receive in my inbox are irrelevant and unnecessary. Oh, no, my dear, I’m not saying that. BTW, those the aforementioned questions were my own questions as well when I was a teenager.
They are relevant, important and logical questions. I don’t have any problem with the questions but with the reason why they are being asked.
If we are asking these questions so that we let go of our sinful lifestyles, we are wrong. We are not in the right truck. We will never find a satisfactory answer to convince us enough to forsake our sexually promiscuous lifestyle because the Truth of God makes sense ONLY to those who are called FOOLISH by this world!
Do you hear that?
And do you know one of the identifying characteristics of the so called “foolish people” is? They believe it if the Word of God says it!
It doesn’t really matter for them if it doesn’t feel right to them or causes them pain and suffering. If the Word of God says it, THEY OBEY IT!
Do they ask question? You bet they do but they don’t ask to believe it or so that they will find a reason to obey it; rather they ask so they will stay the course with joy and strong conviction.
Precious, the Truth about sexual purity is FOOLISHNESS to this world, but to those who are obeying God; it is not foolishness but a power of God which enables them to live for the things of God.
Sexual purity only makes sense for those who are striving to live it; to those who already embraced the message of sexual purity even if it doesn’t make sense to their frontal lobe logical brain.
I’m not saying these people clap their hands, smile at the person who delivers the message of sexual purity, and attend all the sexual purity classes. No, these people take the message and make it their own. They don’t want to rationalize it and try to redefine it so that it will suit their “likings and preferences”. Oh, no, they won’t do that. They embrace it as it is; knowing that it is an eternal truth.
Read the story of Jesus’ three years ministry. There were a number of people who came to Him with questions. He answered all their questions but most of them went back empty because they didn’t come to Him believing that He was the Christ; they didn’t come to Him embracing who He claimed to be. Most of them came to Him to get mental enlightenment.
Most of them brought their brain not their hearts. Bringing heart is too risky because once it is bent to one direction, it is hard to put it back again to its original place. So, they brought their brain to Him. He answered their questions, their mind got enlightened but they left His presence in the same way they came to Him.
What am I saying here? This is what I am saying.
We can’t come out of sexual addiction by someone explaining how the addiction we are in is dangerous. We know that fact very well.
As believers of Jesus Christ, we need no one to tell us how sex outside of marriage, viewing porn and finding sexual gratification from different outlets other than marriage hurt us. We know that very well because His Words are written on our hearts.
If we’ve been in a sexually compromised life for some time, we must have experienced firsthand the hurt, suffering, agony and pain in our own lives because of our sinful lifestyle. So we don’t need any explanation of that fact.
Once we’re given in to our sexual sinful desires, sexual immorality quickly takes over. Then we lose control of our life. It is the addiction itself to tell us what to do when and how. We know it is not something we want to live with. Every fiber of our being testifies to that fact. What explanation do we need then?
You may now ask, “What are you then trying to do in this ministry?”
This is what I’m trying to do: I strive to draw a picture of both sides (sexual purity and immorality) so that I may provoke a desire in the hearts of the people of God to seek a sexually pure life; and that desire may move them to obey the Word of God which says, for example, “RUN AWAY!”
It is good you are reading my articles but it won’t benefit you a thing if you are not obeying even one of the Words of God you’re finding in my writings.
That means what we need is one thing and that one thing is a childlike obedient heart to the Word of God.
For example, I’ve been writing since last October saying that we need to seek help if we are in sexual immorality. I also said many times that we are as sick as our secrets. The more secrets we carry with us, the more spiritual and emotional bondage we find our life in. So, I wrote repeatedly that we need to find people to whom we can open up to.
Did you do it? Or are you still saying that you have a question to ask so that you may one day decide to move your feet for action?
Beloved, confessing our sins to one another is not my wise advice, but God’s (James 5).
So, my friend, get up, God will help you. Just get up and seek help. Connect with others. They may reject you. Sure, some people rejected me when I got up and sought help but not all the people I came in contact with had rejected me. Not everybody in the church is mean, hypocrite and selfish. There are people who are literally kept in the church by God to rescue people from fire.
Look for them and say, “Please help me.” Then you start seeing those “light bulb moments” happening in your lives. It seems like angels are going through your brain cells, waking them up and turning on all the light bulbs which had been turned off for years.
God loves obedience. Obedience is the one best and only way to show God that we love, trust and believe in Him. When He sees that in us, He begins working in our lives.
Then slowly but surely we start understanding that we are actually created to be sexually pure, not impure. We start to see that sexual purity makes a lot of sense than sexual immorality.
Then, “Where does the Bible say exactly sex before marriage is sin” kind of question becomes baloney!
But that only happens when we let go of what we are holding on to and risk obedience.
Let me leave you with the following Bible passage. Oh, how I love this passage! Please read it carefully. You will find more than I am about to show you. Here we go:
“My heart is not proud, LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
But I have calmed and quieted myself,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.
Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore.” Psalm 131:1-3
Do you see that? Do you read it?
David said, “I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content.”
I saw three of our kids going through the painful process of “weaning” from breastfeeding but I still remember how calm and content they were in our hands. They knew that the ones who were holding them had their best interest at heart. Sure they didn’t understand that process well. If it was up to them, they would have chosen breastfeeding for life over anything. They didn’t understand why they had to stop breastfeeding. They couldn’t understand but they knew how sweet and peaceful it was to be held by their mom and dad even if there was no more breast milk.
Jesus said this: “- – – “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3
My friend, quietened and clam your soul by knowing that you are on Your God’s hand. Everything is going to be alright. You don’t need to be concerned “with great matters or things”. All you need to do is to humble yourself and say, “Please help me” to someone else. When you start walking in obedience to the Word of God, you will understand God’s Word to the point of not wanting to go back to your past life.
Test God for yourself if indeed He can be found trustworthy when you obey Him by humbling yourself and seeking others’ help. ///