Many young people are dropping me their questions saying, “We got it! We now understand that all those mini-sex acts (kissing, touching, cuddling, petting and all) are not good for us before marriage. They push us to do what we vowed not to do; which is sex before marriage. The problem is, we’ve been practicing mini-sex acts since day one that it seemed impossible for us to stop now. We keep falling short of our promises we made to one another. What should we do?” Continue reading Want to do Dating Right→
Sometimes in the middle of counseling, I ask this question, “So, who do you want to be in the next 10 years or so?”
The response I always get is something like, “I want to be a person who loves and serves God and others with everything I am and with everything I have.”
So, my follow-up question is, “So, what are you doing today to get there then?”
Why am I asking that? Well, for all the counseling sessions to be effective and fruitful, the person I am counseling primarily needs to know that there is what is called “the law of sowing and reaping.” Knowing this fact will help the person change his/her course or direction of life for good!
In my yesterday’s post, “I made a covenant with my eyes,” I see that one particular paragraph seemed to throw some people off.
If I’m not mistaken, “If a woman chooses to go half or fully naked” seems to be the one which created some confusion, or I will say, misunderstanding, to what I was trying to communicate. So, I want to clarify that today.
Well, my intention when I wrote yesterday’s post was to shine the light on the main source of sexual immorality which is a lustful heart. While I did that, I concurrently wanted to address one common excuse I usually hear from some men: “I would control my eyes if the women wear appropriately.” Continue reading Is Modesty Optional for women?→
I heard about the wedding of a virgin couple the same week they got married here in the city I live in. Today one of my Facebook friends sent me the interview they gave to “Good Day” Fox 5 and I want to share it with you all.
What shook the social media was not their virginity but “the certificate of virginity” the bride presented to her father, Pastor Mike Freeman, on her wedding day.
This is just to reiterate on my latest post, “My Wedding Date is set.”
But, first, let me say this: You have no idea how delighted I was when I opened up the page and read all the comments on my last post.
Your respectful tone and candid way of expressing your agreements/disagreements with the post are unparalleled and I applaud you all. Your spiritual and mental maturity was on a display for all to see. I learn a great deal from each comment; thank you!
I believe with all my heart that this is the only way we, the body of Christ, can learn from one another and grow into the fullness of Him who called us into His Kingdom. Continue reading Cast Your Bread on What?→
A4P Guest: I’m 30 years old. I’m originally from Ethiopia. I moved to the U.S. 15 years ago. I became a born again Christ when I was 13. I’m now dating an African American man, 38 years old. He is a born again Christian too. I am going to his church since I met him. We’ve been together since May of 2013. Since day one, we have been doing everything we are not supposed to do as an unmarried couple and all my best friends who are from Ethiopia seem to know but none of them have said anything about it. We are now about to get married and his pastor didn’t ask us about our sexual integrity or anything related to that when we went to him to set our wedding day. But me, I go to bed crying knowing that I’m sinning against my God and that for sure my sin will soon find me out. My wedding date is set for March. What do you advise me to do?
A4P: If I were you, knowing what I know today about sexual sin and the consequences of it all, I would call everything off, including the wedding date until I get my life straight before God.
First, let me define the word masturbation. From all the “colorful” dictionary definitions given to the word masturbation, I chose one word, i.e. self-gratification, which helps me make my point easy and clear.
In most study results, from Christian and secular research works, it’s known that closer to 95 to 97% of young boys go through a stage where they touch and explore their private part and in the process find a good sensation. This experience, which is one of the developmental stages of “puberty”, may occur between 9 and 12 years of age. I don’t think this innocent act of exploring and finding good sensation deserves a punishment. Locking a nine year old boy in his bedroom for the whole day because he was found exploring and playing with his private part won’t result in anything except putting the boy in a dangerous emotional distress that may encourage (or even force) him to explore more to find what his parents are afraid of.
When we are found sinning against God and our spouses, it is good for us to deal with our sin according to the Bible.
The Bible says, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16)
But in many cases, confessing our sins to our spouses won’t be good enough. We need to invite others into our mess so that they can help us rebuild our marriages. ///
