Category Archives: Sexual Purity

My Berhan’s answer to: What does “I release my wife to the Work of God” mean?

Hello A4P supporters and fans… this is Berhan (Missy’s Husband). I noticed how the YouTube post of a clip from a Sunday service at IEEC where I gave a "lengthy" (don’t laugh now) speech has gotten quite a reception from y’all. I wanted to take another opportunity, here on A4P’s status, and iterate how I whole heartedly support the mission and passion that GOD has placed on my lovely wife, Missy.

Missy’s mission to battle the enemy head-on, for a sexually pure heart and mind of GOD’s people, is so timely, crucial and pivotal to help us reach and experience the life that GOD desires and commands us to have.
Continue reading My Berhan’s answer to: What does “I release my wife to the Work of God” mean?

Eternity as a Circle or Horizontal Line

Some people say, “If eternity is like Atlantic Ocean, our life on earth is like a drop from that big Ocean.”

Well, how do you see a drop? As a circle, don’t you? And a circle is a closed shape. There is no continuity to it. It starts at one point, goes around 360 degrees and ends where it starts.

But for me personally, I don’t see my eternal and present life like a circle but as a horizontal line and I will tell you why.
Continue reading Eternity as a Circle or Horizontal Line

Not a curse for a Wife to Sexually desire her Husband

If I’m not mistaken, I wrote about this topic few months ago but it came to my attention in a different way and I want to say a word or two about it again.

So, after Adam and Eve sinned against God, God cursed them. Here is the last part of the curse God put on the woman.

To the woman God said, “- – – Your desire will be for your husband – – -.” Genesis 3:16

Hmm . . . what does that sound like? Is she cursed to sexually desire her husband?
Continue reading Not a curse for a Wife to Sexually desire her Husband

One Truth worth Noticing

Sexual immorality seems to be the number one sin to catch us all off-guard more times than the other sins. There can be many reasons for it but the one reason that comes to my mind is this: We are prone to sexual sin because we are sexual beings!

You see, we are not naturally created to kill; or to steal. We are not fashioned by God to go around and drink somebody else’s blood. No, we are not.

But we are created and fashioned by God to be sexual beings, so that we have all we need to have sex.

That by itself makes us all vulnerable to fall into sexual sin. But knowing that fact shouldn’t encourage us all to say, “Oh, well, here we go again; Let me jump in it because it is meant to be like this” because as we are created to be sexual beings, do you know that we are also originally created to be sexually pure beings?

Yes, we are created for sexual purity not for sexual immorality. That is why our whole life gets disrupted when we miss the mark of purity. When we turn to sexual impurity, our mind, soul, spirit can’t get anything right. They all get misaligned and we try everything to calm them down but nothing can clam them all down but sexual purity because we are created for sexual purity. Our nature is ONLY COMPATIBLE WITH SEXUAL PURITY because we are created in God’s likeness and image which is always and only compatible with holiness and purity.

The image we may seem to lost it because of Adam is ours through Christ Jesus. His grace and spirit are with us to bring that likeness and image back to us.

"For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son" Romans 8:29a – Did you hear that?

Listen what Jesus is saying to you and me: "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with Me." Revelation 3:20

Isn’t that beautiful! Jesus is inviting you and I to the ONENESS of holiness; so that we take His image and likeness!

He is calling you through this post!

Don’t wait until you get it all right because you will never get it right without Jesus.

Will you respond to Him? Will you open the door of your heart for Jesus to come in? Do you take Him in? Do you receive Him into your life and make Him the LORD and King of your sexual life which is the ligament that holds all your other life areas?

If your response is "Yes," inbox me and I will contact you so that we can pray together. ///

Question of the day!

Thank you again, my friend, for saying “Yes” for me to share your question with others!

A4P Guest: Saturday night, my husband and I were at the restaurant and we kissed in the middle of our candle light dinner. And one of my church members happened to be at the restaurant and I didn’t see her. So, yesterday at church, she called me to the bathroom and said to me, “We Christians are not supposed to do such kind of thing in public.” I was very mad at her because she accused me as if I kissed some other man who was not married to me. So, I said to her, “He is my husband and I can do whatever I want with him” and I left the bathroom. Afterward, I felt bad for saying that to her. Why did I feel bad? I mean he is my husband and the lady knows that. BTW, this particular lady is the one I respect very highly in our church but at that moment, I didn’t have any respect for her and I guess I had an attitude too when I responded back to her. What is your take on this? Am I wrong to kiss my husband in public?

A4P: Kissing your husband is a holy thing as long as you are conscious of your surroundings. We, Christians, are called to live for others’ conscience.

This is what the Bible says: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. – – – But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” Galatians 5:1, 13b

You have freedom to do whatever you want but up to a certain extent or boundaries and one of those boundaries are called love (and we have to avoid those things which don’t edify and build us – 1 Corinthians 10:23).

As long as you do it in your private bedroom, you can kiss your husband in whatever ways you want to. But outside, in the open air, I advise you to stay away from those kinds of kisses which make others “cringe” not because you have no freedom to do so but because some people may not have freedom to see you doing that and accept and consider you as a child of God. Their conscience may not have that much freedom on that particular area.

And to tell you the truth, why do you want to expose your private joy to the whole world? Keep it private and you will have a lasting joy. Kiss your husband outside the house but not like “French kissing” kind of kiss. Keep that for your bedroom.

I also have a problem with the way you responded back to the woman. You see, you felt bad afterward because of the Holy Spirit who is inside you. He grieves in our spirit when we hurt others. That woman may know five thousand Bible verses but when it comes to romance, she might be from the old school who condemns any romantic love as a sin. Or, she might have the most unromantic husband ever; or she may not have a good marriage. But whatever her reason could be, don’t judge her because she is not free like you. Love her and approach her in love and respect. Invite her to read what you’ve been reading. If she is resistance, leave her alone. We can’t demand from others the same kind of understanding we have.

St. Paul didn’t eat meat throughout his Christian life. Do you know why? Because some of the people around him were not eating meat as a sign of their devotion to God and they couldn’t consider a person as a Christian if they saw him eating meat. Because of that he said “no more” for eating meat so that he wouldn’t be a stumbling block for others around him.

Listen what he said: “Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall.” 1 Corinthians 8:13

That is the call of Christ for all of us! That is my take on the issue.

Take care,
In Him, Missy.

P. S. Remember, I’m not advising you to live in fear of others; losing every freedom you have in Christ but I’m advising to love and respect others. Fear of man is a snare which paralyses you to do anything as the Bible says: “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25

A person with a teachable spirit has the following qualities:

He sits to learn.

He doesn’t run around. He sits to learn!

He considers himself to be just like a child who doesn’t know anything.

When he sits to learn, he surrenders his knowledge, empties himself as if he didn’t have any knowledge.

A child of God hears with an open mind to catch those which may not agree with the Word of God and to let go those which don’t agree with the Word of God.

Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3

Jesus said that to those who were thinking and analyzing what they were listening and seeing according to the world they knew; not according to what Jesus was telling them. Actually Jesus said that to His own Disciples who were with Him, 24/7. Why? They were the ones who came to “the church” to the gathering, thinking that they knew it all; they figured it all out!

He asked us to “become!” Becoming is a process; an active process of change! A process one has to consciously and purposely choose to be!

Jesus said to His Disciples, be like a child. Children are always eager to learn so that they can copy and do it exactly as they learn. That is why they tend to ask adults this question: “Do it again!”

I wish I had that attitude to say to God, “Tell me again so that I know that You my God will never forget nor forsake me” instead of going around with fear of being alone, without a Shepherd!

Oh, LORD, give us a teachable spirit! A spirit that says, “I know nothing! Teach me again!”///

– – – because They belong to Me!

Sitting down on the bench and watching my kids play sport is something I enjoy to do. I sometimes choose to stand than sit.

Do I shout and scream? You better believe it! The funny thing is I sometimes shout saying things like, “Don’t let them pass you!” Or “Kick the ball!” And my Berhan whispers in my ears saying, “They can’t kick the ball in that position.”

What position is that? The thing is I don’t get all the rules and regulations soccer game has! All I know is points have to be made for my kid’s team to win. And as far as I’m concerned, they have to push the ball to the goal whichever way they have to.

Last week, my youngest son’s team lost four to one. “That is not good” you may say, but for me, I was more than happy. Do you know why? Well, it was my son who made that one goal. You can’t believe how happy I was.

Last Monday, after I flew back from Minnesota, I directly went to my older son’s Junior Varsity soccer game. My! My! My! That is what I’m talking about! That was the GAME! They won seven to one!

I’m not lying when I say this but throughout the game, I didn’t see any of the players except my son. If he turned towards to the side I was sitting, I ran to him holding cool Gatorade and water bottles on my hands, thinking he might be thirsty. I was on a “stand by” mode to take care of my son’s needs so that he would stay on “the game”.

Sitting on a side, watching my older son play, I heard his coach calling my son’s name and saying, “Nice move! Nice move!” I didn’t even notice “the move” the coach referring to but I clapped for my son and looked around to see if other parents have noticed my son’s “move”.

Oh, how I love watching my kids play! I love seeing their teams win! Why? Because they are my kids! They belong to me! They are mine! They are my little ones! Their victory is my victory! Their joy is my joy! And their loss is also my loss!

So, last Monday, thinking how happy I was seeing my son’s team win, all of a sudden, I began to see myself “doing” life on this side of heaven and my God watching all my "doings". I felt like my God was watching, cheering and clapping for me when I made “a goal.” When I turned down an invitation to sin against my God, I saw my God standing and clapping for me. I saw Him looking around to see if someone had noticed His daughter turning the invitation down and making “the goal” in the enemy’s team.

Why? Because I’m His daughter and He is my Dad! I belong to Him and He belongs to me! My joy is His joy! My sadness is His sadness!

Then I realized at that moment that my God loves watching me do life. God watches over me 24/7. If I am in need, He is there to provide for me so that I stay on “the game” of life and bring Him all the glory and praise!

I can’t tell you how comforting for me to know that God watches over me 24/7 because sometimes I feel like I’m doing life all alone, fighting my enemy all by myself! But the truth of the matter is I’m not alone! God is with me.

The Bible says,

“ The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.” (Psalms 121:5-8)

Yes, you and I belong to God because we belong to Jesus Christ! Because we belong to Him, God watches over us 24/7. He claps for us when we say “No” to sin! He rejoices with us when you and I make a “goal,” walk in righteousness and inherit the peace and joy He promised to give to us! And our God gets hurt when we choose to sin against Him because He knows that sin hurts us really bad!

Did Satan convince you that you are all alone, no one to watch over you? Don’t listen to him anymore. He is a liar! You are not alone! God is with you and in you! He watches over you! Don’t live in sin as if you had no God! You have a powerful God in your team! He is there to help you to say “No” to sin. Get up, stay in the game, make a goal and bring to your God all the glory and praise! ///

Question of the Week

A4P Guest: “I read some of your articles and read what you’ve been writing about men and I have a question about that. So, as a single man, I know that women have menstrual cramp during their period cycle but how that pain feels and how they process it from the inside, I don’t know. I don’t know because I’m not a woman but a man. On one of your recent blogs, titled "Issue of Kissing," you said this: “When a man looks at his wife’s naked body, he thinks – – -”. So, my question for you is this: While you are a woman, how can you know what a man thinks? ”

A4P: I live in a neighborhood where I see deer as often as I see human beings. I know that is a little funny but hey we love to see them.

Like 20+ years ago, I began to think a lot about the deer in our neighborhood because they seem to be very “foolish” when it comes to staying away from trouble or I will say, staying away from the highway. As if they were cars, they tend to jump in the middle of a busy highway and die.

I love animal and I love these precious creatures of God but I hate to see them dying left and right. Then I began to read and learn a lot about them. I learned that these precious animals don’t just die every day and around the clock; even if that was what it felt like for me. Rather, they die during the fall season. Yes, this is the season for most of them to depart from this life.

And I also learned that they are dying during the fall season because it is their “mating” season. So when you look at a deer during October or November, you have to know that the only thing in its mind (well, there is no mind to it only instincts but let’s say it has mind just for the sake of the discussion) the only thing in its mind is sex.

So, if I write on my blog saying, “If you see a deer during October, make sure you drive slowly because the deer won’t see you. The only thing it sees is a female deer and the only thing it thinks about is sex,” will I be questioned how I happened to know that while I was a human being not a deer?

You see, if you are sitting there and trying to know about only men, you will soon face danger when you start dealing with your woman.

Yes, it is good for you to know about women. You don’t have to be a woman for you to know about them. Read about how their brain works, process and interpret information. Know about women’s sexual nature; how they think about sex so that you know how to handle your woman. Otherwise you may try to attract your wife sexually by being naked because that is one of the ways you get sexually attracted. And if you try to attract your wife that way, you will fail terribly.

BTW, are you interested to know what your future wife may think when she sees you naked? In case you are interested, let me tell you.

This is what she thinks: “When am I going to finish doing the laundry I’ve started in the morning?” or she most probably thinks like this: “Thank You, LORD, for creating clothes for my husband to wear them every day.”

For you to know this about your woman, you don’t need to be a woman. All you need to be is a person who is willing to learn and live according to the right information you have about you and others for the good of you and others (in this case, your wife). And at the end, make sure you share with others the information which changed your life and marriage for better. ///

Only One Principle

A4P Guest: “If I ask you to give me only one principle to do dating and courting right so that I won’t sin against God, what would be that principle?”

A4P: Excellent question!

Only one principle: When you want to hide an action from others, you should know that you are sinning against God and others.

Let me ask you: If you want to kiss your date, do you do it in the church, in front of your pastor, and other believers or do you want to do it at the back of your car, at night time, a time that nobody can see you?

Do you “pet” your date in the church or in the dark room of your apartment?

If you are honest, you will say that you won’t do those things in public. I mean do I need to say that those things are considered as "foreplay," an important step for a sexual intimacy of married couples? I don’t think so because I recently said that. Foreplay is not for you as a single person. So when you want to do those "biblically illegal" stuff, you want to hide them. Don’t you? The moment you want to do that, remember that you are sinning against God and others. So, stay away from those things.

Well, that being said though, there is a question that begs an answer: Do you have high regard to the church of Christ and to the believers of Jesus Christ?

Similar question: Do you have anyone you honor and respect enough for you to limit yourself from acting out inappropriately, sinfully?

If your answer to any of the above questions is “No” or if you say something like, “I don’t have a church. I don’t care about anyone and I don’t care what anyone says about my life,” then the above “principle” is useless for you!

That means if you don’t have a home church which you are part of and believers who care about you, you are right there in a danger zone. The stage is set for you to fall in sin. And when you are in that zone, you have no choice but live in sin.

Remember, we need each other (as the part of a Body of Christ) so that we stay away from the trap of the devil (our body organs, such as stomach or liver can’t fight alone apart from the body but when they stay in the body, they can fight virus, bacteria and even cancer).

The moment we decide to separate ourselves from the Body of Christ, we will be snatched by the devil. Then we start to hide everything.

Remember, devil steals us first from the family of God; then convince us not to care about others; then kills us (kills every good thing we have and may even kill us) and at last he destroys us to the point of nobody is able to remember neither us nor our descendants. Read John 10:10 ///

A Call for Fathers!

Most teens are losing their lives in the middle of this corrupted world not because they want to get lost but because their fathers are not getting involved in raising them.

Most teens are 100% dependent on their mothers who work two or three jobs to make the ends meet or try her best to be a mother and a father to her kids since her husband doesn’t get involved.

Are you a father? Are you involved in your sons’ and daughters’ life?

Making money and bringing the money is not all about fathering but being there for kids and being 100% involved in your kids’ life. Please don’t let TV and the culture raise your kids. It is not the church’s responsibility to raise your kids. The Bible says, “Teach your children about the law and precepts of God.” It never gives this instruction to the church but to you, fathers. Fathers you are not called only to be providers but protectors, servant-leaders, teachers, spiritual models, mentors, lovers and representatives of God to their daughters and sons.

Boys may get older physically in years but they can’t be MEN without a father who shows them how to be A MAN; or more how to be A MAN OF GOD! There are 40 and 50 years old or even older boys walking around. They are stuck in boyish-hood status because they have no way of knowing what it means to be A MAN! And one way for a boy to claim his manhood is through finding his sexuality and letting his sexuality be under the control of the Holy Spirit. Henceforth, one of the identifying characteristics of A MAN is SELF-CONTROL; (He knows how to control his sexual urges!) He knows how to channel his sexual desires to its rightful place (marriage); he is not given over to his sexual instincts. He uses his brain to harness his sexual urges; his sexual body part doesn’t tell him when to have sex but his heart which is molded and shaped by the WORD OF GOD!

Are you that man? If you are not, seek men of God in churches. Stick with them! Tap in to their lifestyle and “catch” their character. Find a mentor for you to follow after so that you come out of “boyish-hood”. Then you will know how to fight for your boys; know how important it is for you to be there for your boys and girls! ///