I have to share with you this video! Oh, how I love it! This is it! This is what fathers do to their kids because they are fathers! And do you know that it is healthy for a child to see this side of his father that is completely different from his mother? Yes, it is!
Children need their fathers as much as they need their mothers. Sure, everybody knows this truth. Even young mothers today say, “I will pay any price for my kids to live with their dad.”
But you find these same mothers lecturing their husbands how to father their kids. Do you know why? Because they want their husbands to act like a mother. They say:
“Don’t talk to my son like that? His emotion can get hurt!”
“Don’t play with them like that. They can get hurt!”
“Why do you feed them junk? And why do you keep them up so late? They have to go to bed early so they can do well in school!”
“Pray for them before you put them to bed!”
Do you know how these instructions get interpreted in a husband’s mind? Like this:
“If you ever touch my children, I will disrespect you (means, I will lecture you). So, unless you want to disrespected, don’t get close to my children.”
And most husbands quietly withdraw from their kids; then from their wives. Then a lonely wife comes and complains saying with tears,
“I do anything for my kids. If I have to give my life for them, I would gladly do it. But my husband doesn’t care for them. I always tell him what to do with the kids but he doesn’t listen to me. Now he doesn’t even care about me. He only likes to watch TV or be on his phone, or spend time with his friends. I am the only one running around the house for my kids.”
What do you say to this mother?
Well, I will say:
“Your husband has to stay far away from you because whenever he is close to you, you ask him to be a photo-copy of you. He cannot do that. He can only be him. He can only be a father, not a mother to his kids. And the Bible says, you are your husband’s “suitable helper,” not “suitable lecturer.” Unless you help him to do what God created him to be, that is a father, he cannot be a father to his kids. How can you help him? By letting him father his children the way he wants to.”
The Bible says,
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.” Proverbs 12:4 NKJV
The one identifying character of “an excellent wife” or “a wife with a noble character” rarely opens her mouth especially to correct, criticize and/or teach her husband. However, without opening her mouth, she influences and pushes her husband to his call: To be a father to his kids!
“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won WITHOUT A WORD by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.” 1 Peter 3:1-4 NASB (capitalization is added for the purpose of emphasis)
One identifying character of a wife who shames her husband and causes him rottenness to his bone is her mouth is open 24/7, not only to eat and drink but to correct, criticize, teach and train her husband so he can be a father. ///