I naturally love to receive advice from people I respect the most because I saw in many instances how good advice saved my life. Going to counseling is my thing! I, long time ago, decided to myself saying: Never, ever I go through life alone! I seek counseling!
Yeap! I not only love to counsel people, I also love seeking and getting counseling whenever I need one.
Early on in my life, God has blessed me with wonderful people who directed and guided me in their winsome advice and I am eternally thankful for that. However, I’ve received destructive and sometimes dangerous advice that could have cost me a lot in life.
But, by the pure grace and mercy of God, I was and still is protected and saved. May the name of Jesus Christ be praised forever!
Let me share with you two advice that almost destroyed my life:
1. “Make sure you always be on birth control pills”
As a fifteen and sixteen year old young girl, I wanna be famous like those famous girls in my school. The question of “How did they become famous” was not my concern. I just wanna be famous like them. And as I tried to be a friend of some of these girls, one of the girls one day asked me, in front of the other girls, “By the way Missy, didn’t you start taking birth control pills?”
At that point, I hadn’t even seen birth control pills in my naked eyes let alone taking them. Other than what I’ve learned in a biology class, I had no knowledge of them or experience with them. But I right away assumed that all those girls were taking birth control pills except me. So, I was a bit ashamed to say, “No,” because I didn’t want them to think that I was not worthy to be their friends. So, I kind of stumbled and said, “I am about to start soon.”
And one of the girls said to me, “Hey, Missy, you have to be on birth control pills as soon as possible. It’s a turn off for men if you say you aren’t in your safe period, or blah, blah. Always be ahead of the game!”
Hmm! “Be ahead of the game!”
That caught my attention! I liked it! I used to study ahead of my class so I’d always get that good grade at any “Pop-Quiz” or finals.
Mind you! I didn’t even have a boyfriend at this point. I was 15 or 16 years old. I was called “a nerd” because I always read and study to get that perfect 100. But at the same time, half of my heart was curious to be like those famous girls at my school.
And to make a long story short, I started taking birth control pills. Then within three days, it triggered a severe migraine headache that I was struggling with since childhood (and to this day). So, I was told never, ever to take any hormonal medicine and I have never touched any since then.
So, today whenever I see a young girl in an inappropriate place, I deep down ask, “Does she know what she needs to know to be here? Is she well informed about everything that is around her? Who are her advisors? What does she know and does not know?”
Yes, these were some of the questions that pushed me to write a letter to my only daughter (Lydia Banko) when she turned 11 years old and that letter I wrote to Lydia turned into a book called “Beyond the Fairy Tale.” Yes, this is my only book I so far wrote and will never get tired of recommending it to all parents and young people. Why? I wanna be that “missing voice” to a young girl that I was not privileged to listen to when I was young.
The word of God says, “you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32 NASB
They advised me to be the object of sex so men will satisfy their fantasy on my body. But God, hallelujah, but God had a different story for me and saved life.
2. “You have to try a number of men before you decide to marry one of them”
The other advice that almost destroyed my life at an early age was the one that came from one of “the popular girls” I used to look up to.
When I was 17, I met my husband (Berhan). We both were not born-again Christians at the time, lost in this dark world. After a year, Berhan went to America (I will say, “came here”) and within a week or two, I went to one of my friends’ home party. And one of the girls “announced” to three or four girls that I, Missy, had decided to wait for my boyfriend.
Oh my! You have no idea how shocked I was! I knew, my friend was laughing and giggling and I knew she said it jokingly but I was a bit embarrassed. And all of them turned to one girl who was considered the leader of the pack, signaling her to lecture me. And she held my shoulder and said to me, “Let me tell you something, Missy! Don’t be a fool! You have to try a number of men before you decide to marry one of them.”
It wasn’t like those girls were lying to me. No, they were not. They were just sharing with me what they knew to be true and at that time, the advice sounded to be brilliant and I even said to myself, “No wonder some marriages are failing because the girls didn’t have any “experience” and made a mistake choosing the wrong guy,” thinking that sex was like trying a burger or “kitefo.”
Jesus said, “If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.” Matthew 15:14 NIV
They were in this dark world and they only knew and believed what this dark world had told them. How can a person know the truth unless helped and saved by the Holy Spirit!
The Bible says, “even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” 2 Corinthians 4:3-4 NIV
Who are perishing?
“He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life. These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life.” 1 John 5:12-13 NASB
So, this’s always be my burning and deepest desire in life that I be the voice one calling everyone’s attention to the truth of God because this dark world or the people of this dark world have nothing to give us. We desire peace! No peace in this world! We desire joy! No joy in this world! We desire contentment, happiness, pleasure and fulfillment? This dark world has none!
But the word of God, oh, praise God, Christ Jesus, the Son of God, has everything we need and desire because He is the One who created us. Our soul does not rest until it finds its Creator.
Augustine of Hippo said, “Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee”
Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” John 14:6 NASB
Do you think I am preaching to you here?
No, I am not! I am sharing the “T” truth I personally proved to be true in my life. It is up to you to receive the truth of the word of God or be filled with your own truth or the truth of fools and blinds.
May the LORD reveal to you what I am trying to share with you here! ///