Yes, we’ve concluded last time saying, “Anger is a natural God-given emotion.”
However, using anger as a way of life, the way we handle life issues is not an inborn nature. It is a habit we acquire through time, usually by spending too much time with a person who is given over to anger, like children learning to make anger their habit from their angry parents.
Listen what the Bible says,
“Do not associate with a man given to anger;
Or go with a hot-tempered man,
Or you will learn his ways
And find a snare for yourself.” Proverbs 22:24-25 NASB
Wow! Did you see that?
It doesn’t say, “It is okay to be a friend of a man who is given to anger but don’t learn his habit,” because if you are a friend of an angry person, you will sure pick up that habit and make it yours. So, don’t even friend him/her.
The Bible says,
“BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.” Ephesians 4:26-27 NASB
Wow! If you let anger go to bed with you, you sure get up to spend the rest of your day with it. So, it says, “give your anger an expiration day!” (borrowed from Steve Poe)
What can an angry person do to be free this bad habit?
First, know that anger is something you can get rid of because the Bible says,
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” Ephesians 4:31 NASB
“Put away” because the word of God knows that we can put it away.
So, to put anger away, I thought the following six points might help someone fight against this nasty habit called anger. (Remember, anger is not the evil but losing control of our words and actions which can cost us our friends, families and marriages.)
1. Refuse to justify your anger
That means, don’t say, “I have a reason to be this angry and say and do those hurtful words and deeds,” because there is no enough or good reasons to lose our temper to the point of losing control of our actions and words.
Say to yourself, “I have this problem and I am the only one who can deal with it! It is a problem and I don’t want it!”
That means, confess it to God as one of your sins because Jesus says,
“But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be answerable to the court; and whoever says to his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing,’ shall be answerable to the supreme court; and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.” Matthew 5:22 NASB
Did you see it?
Yes, own it! Say, “LORD, forgive me for being this angry and say and do this and that and hurt so and so.”
2. Get to the source of your anger
Always remember anger is called a secondary response. That means, there is a primary reason for you to be this much angry to say hurtful words and act foolishly. It might be emotional or physical ailment that can make you angry towards a person. Or, if you’re harboring the wrong that has been done to you in the past by someone important, like your father, unless you find a way to deal with that resentment, it expresses itself in anger.
3. Practice forgiveness
Even if it is hard to do, forgiving the person who hurt you in the past is the best way to make your life free from anger. Just let it go! I know, easier said than done in some situations. But remember “to forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Lewis Smedes (quoted in Steve Poe book, “Creatures of Habits.”
“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.” Colossians 3:12-13 NASB
4. Practice Self-talk
Be conscious of your emotion. Don’t let yourself to be in that moment of “if I am angry, I don’t know what I say and do.” No! You should know and be responsible to what you say and do all the time but always taking few minutes to talk to yourself. If you are like me, you do a little prayer, “Abba, please help me to be reasonable here.” A two-minute long self-talk can save you from years of pain, hurt, regrets and guilt. Ask yourself a simple question, “Okay, tell me, what’s wrong with you now?” Or, like King David, “Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” Psalm 43:5 NIV
5. Practice contentment and peace
What kind of peace?
“Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, – – – and be thankful.” Colossians 3:15 NASB
While He walked on this earth, Christ had no doubt about His son-ship and the fact that His Father was for Him and with Him. He knew that God was (is) sovereign.
“So Pilate said to Him [Jesus], “You do not speak to me? Do You not know that I have authority to release You, and I have authority to crucify You?” Jesus answered, “You would have no authority over Me, unless it had been given you from above;” John 19:10-11b NASB
After everything is said and done, you know that because what Jesus Christ did for you on the cross, God’s wrath is not on you but His love, grace, mercy and peace and God is for you, not against you. He works everything out for your own good because His word says,
“For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11 NASB
And the word of God says,
“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 NASB
That means praise God every moment about everything you have and don’t have and you run out of time to be angry. And when you lose your temper, you know how to ask other’s forgiveness and start from zero.
6. Deal with the anger
Some people, rightly so, don’t like to be angry. So, the easy way they find to deal with their anger is by repressing it. This is actually very dangerous thing to do because repression doesn’t appease anger. It just makes it change its face and show up as depression, anxiety, chronic cynicism or it makes a person complain about everything and everybody. That is a twofold blow! Instead, deal with the anger itself directly as we’ve discussed above.
These six things are helping me a lot to fight against anger. I hope they do help you too. ///