A Mistress Cannot be A wife

There is a good saying in my native language, Amharic, that goes something like this: “A mistress cannot [or will not] be a wife.”

I think the saying makes a lot more sense in my native language than in English, but the idea is this: A man will never make his mistress his wife. Some men divorced their wives, the mother of their children, and married their mistress, but almost all of these men lead a miserable marriage after.


Because once a man knows a woman as a mistress, he finds it hard to see her as an honorable wife who deserves to have all of a “wife’s rights and privileges.”

A single Christian woman may find herself in this “mistress” position usually by accident.

She gets deceived and lied to by a man who poses as an honest, kind, spiritual man who was hurt by a woman he married.

She initially comes to him knowing that he is a married man with kids. But little by little, she becomes emotionally attached to him. Then this emotional attachment leads to a physical/sexual relationship. He makes her believe that he would divorce his wife, telling her that his wife is demon possessed and cheats on him.

So this Christian girl agrees and sleeps with him thinking that the man will eventually divorce his wife and make her his wife. What she does not know is “a mistress cannot be a wife.”

After he plays with her body, he starts rejecting her, saying, “I want to work on my marriage.” By this time, this poor woman is emotionally and sexually attached with him and starts to fight to make him her husband.

Sometimes pregnancy can happen. Some women end up becoming single mothers; some women choose instead to have an abortion and lead a guilt and regret filled life.

A very sad reality!

And during this hard corona time, I’ve found this kind of story becoming a bit common.

So, I pray that this post will bring one woman in this kind of situation back to her senses, and perhaps encourage her to run back to her God and Savior, Jesus Christ who is the only One who can save her from this. God is a forgiving God, a God of second chances.

The word of God says,

“Yet even now,” declares the Lord,
“Return to Me with all your heart,
And with fasting, weeping and mourning;
And rend your heart and not your garments.”
Now return to the Lord your God,
For He is gracious and compassionate,
Slow to anger, abounding in lovingkindness
And relenting of evil.” Joel 2:12-13 ///