“My Husband Does Not Want Sex”

The common thing we hear is a husband complaining about his wife not being intimate with him as often as he wants her to be. Most books in the area of relationships/marriages address this issue and many give all kinds of advice to help wives understand the sexual nature of their husbands.

Wives, on the other hand, get married and have kids. The when their husbands do not want to be sexually intimate with them as often as the wives would like them to be, the wives tend to avoid the topic and silence their sexual desires, focusing on other things such as raising kids and running the house.

But these days, these kinds of problems are becoming real! Many young wives struggle in their marriages right after their wedding day; their husbands are not meeting their sexual desires.



A few years back, maybe ten years ago, only a few percentage of married women used to complain (may range from 2 to 10%).

Now, this percentage rises alarmingly and newly wedded women are leaving their marriages because their husbands don’t want to be intimate with them at all.

The obvious and most common reason is porn addiction. Many young men today choose to masturbate to nude images/pictures, moving pictures, than to spend time with their wives.

To be intimate with a wife, a husband has to work hard. He has to speak to her lovingly; he has to care for her and be sensitive for her emotional well-being and all.

A man does absolutely nothing to get his fix from porn. He can find sexually explicit movies, nude or half naked women’s pictures on social media. All he needs to do is to tune in his eyes and ears, that is all!

So, romancing a woman for a man who is addicted to porn will become very hard work. So, he forfeits that hard work at any cost. He gives his wife all kinds of excuses to avoid any “alone time” with her.

This is a very sad reality of many young wives today.

Gambling, video game addiction, substance abuse (alcohol, cigarette, drugs such as weed or cocaine) also can equally kill a man’s sexual desires.

Men go to porn thinking that they get sexual fulfillment, but as many studies have shown, porn will eventually kill a man’s sexual desire and cause him erectile dysfunction.

This is a very easy reality to understand. A man who is sexually stimulated by many women is unable to be sexually stimulated by one woman, his wife. His natural, God-given sexual desire will eventually die.

The other reason that is becoming normal these days is a young husband avoiding his wife because he secretly starts a relationship with other men or he secretly struggles with unwanted same-sex desire. He does not share this with his wife. He simply avoids his wife giving her all kinds of excuses: being busy at work, going to friends and relatives. This is a very sad reality of some young married wives.

Some husbands avoid sex because they are married to a mean-spirited wife; a wife who always argues, nags, belittles and despises her husband for pretty much everything. Yes, a mean wife can be a sole reason for her husband to suffer from erectile dysfunction.

The Bible says,

“Better to live in a wilderness
than with a nagging and hot-tempered wife.” Proverbs 21:19 HCSB

You know what this verse is saying? It’s saying it is better to suffer and die in the wilderness than to live with a mean-spirited wife.

So, if you are a wife of one man, it is good to check and see if your attitude towards your husband is respectful and considerate before you complain about him.

But whatever the situation is, if you are a wife/a husband and you face a problem in your marriage, please seek help. Seeking help may save not only your life and marriage, but also save your children and the next generation.

Don’t suffer alone! ///