The word of God says,
“For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. . . So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; ” Ephesians 5:23, 28NASB
The husband is the head of the wife and the wife is the body of her husband.
If the husband is the head, it automatically makes him the person responsible for everything that is going on in his household.
Well, the head is the number one example that the wife and their children are going to follow.
A husband doesn’t choose whether to be the head or not; he is the head the moment he takes the honor of being the husband. He can leave a good example or a bad one. The choice is his.
The word of God calls the husband to first be a follower of Jesus Christ so he can lead his wife and children in truth and holiness. Actually Ephesians chapter five starts with this:
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;” Ephesians 5:1 NASB
When the husband strives to follow Christ, he knows how to lead his wife and children in love and integrity.
Even if the husband strives to follow Christ’s lead, he still needs his wife’s support. That is why the Bible calls the wife, “a suitable helper.”
She helps her husband to lead primarily by following Jesus Christ.
The Bible says,
“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands ” 1 Peter 3:1a NASB
In the same way?
What is that way the Bible is referring to? To find the answer to that question, we have to read 1 Peter 2.
“For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. ” 1 Peter 2:21-24 NASB
Jesus Christ “entrusted” Himself to God, to the will of God, and obeyed God as if Jesus Christ was lower than God.
“Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. For this reason also, God highly exalted Him, and bestowed on Him the name which is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee will bow, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:5-11 NASB
So, the wife first submits to God, to the will and word of God, so she will be able to willingly and joyfully submit to her husband.
She is equal with her husband but she puts herself as if she was “lower” than her husband. She follows him, trusting God that her submission will be a blessing for her husband to lead in the way God wants him.
This kind of “husband leading” and “wife following” thing only works in homes/marriages where both the husband and the wife strive, as a couple and individually, to glorify God.
Some people desire to have a loving family and peaceful marriage while they neglect God and His word. That is foolishness.
But this is the key: The fact that the husband is the head of his wife and the main leader of his whole family (his wife and children) is not up for discussion. It is settled by God!
What is up for discussion is whether the husband is leading his family in the way of God or not. ///