A person who commits adultery has no one to blame but himself/herself.
And for us married people, it is our sole responsibility to protect ourselves and our marriages from adultery.
The word of God says:
“But a man who commits adultery has no sense;
whoever does so destroys himself.
Blows and disgrace are his lot,
and his shame will never be wiped away.” Proverbs 6:32-33
It literally says that one has to lose his own common sense before he commits adultery and that once he commits adultery, his shame will never be wiped away!
May God save us all married people from being blind and foolish to the point of losing our common sense and finding ourselves in this atrocious sin.
It disgraces the person who commits it and it defiles and stains his/her confession in Christ Jesus. It destroys the honor and grace of the church.
So, it is right for us to discuss how we can make our marriages an “adultery-free zone.”
So, what are the things that can push a married person into adultery?
Remember, when married people feel like their marriages are not fulfilling any of their desires, they need to seek marriage counseling. Indulging in adultery is not the answer. No amount of suffering in marriage can be used as an excuse to commit adultery. Adultery destroys marriages, families, kids’ lives, and has an impact that can be felt through generations.
That being said, what are the signs or symptoms we married people need to watch out for in our marriages that attack our efforts at making our marriages “adultery-free zones?”
Well even though the following list is not an exhaustive one, we can use it as a guide to correctly evaluate or “diagnose” our marriages. The following nine signs/symptoms are well known and documented preexisting marital conditions of people who have committed adultery:
1. They lean on someone other than their spouse as a primary source of love, respect, and value.
2. They talk to their spouse only about bills, kids and house chores; they don’t share their thoughts and feelings with their spouse.
3. They leave their marital issues and conflicts unresolved and end up being isolated and lonely in their own marriage.
4. They totally stop playing, having fun, and relaxing with their spouse. The idea that “couples that play together stay together” will be thrown out of their marriage.
5. They spend too much time separated from their spouse because of sickness, a job, or other similar reasons (couples who do marriage online are the most vulnerable to commit adultery or to remain in a dead marriage).
6. They are too busy or too tired to have intimate times with their spouse (welcomes a sex-absent marriage).
7. They totally stop surprising their spouse by doing something extra to purposely make their spouse happy.
8. They turn to someone else to talk about their marital issues (and if that someone is of the opposite sex compared to their spouse, affairs will loom on the horizon).
9. They neglect their spouse’s needs and wander outside their marriage to meet their needs.
If you see any of these signs in you or your spouse, please seek help because it could be just a matter of time before you (or your spouse) find yourself in bed with someone else other than your betrothed. ///