When we see a cute couple treating one another with respect and caring for one another as if they just met, we can’t resist the temptation to say, “God sure is a matchmaker?”
I mean, there are many good and amazing marriages, but, do those marriages where couples treat each other nice happen to be good because God is a matchmaker?
If God is a matchmaker, does He matchmake some and leave the rest for us to make them in whatever way we like? What are the criteria we need to fulfill for God to find our matches so that our marriages become good ones? Or, is He just randomly matching people and distributing good marriages to people He likes?
Or, if we believe that God is a matchmaker of every marriage, we can easily and safely conclude that all marriages are from God. And, if all marriages are from God, from above, from heaven, they must be good and perfect as the Bible says, “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James 1:17)
Are all marriages good?
While I leave those questions to you to wrestle with, let me share with you what I believe.
I believe that marriages are made here on earth, both good and bad ones. If two people, a husband and a wife, submit first to God, it is easy for them to submit to one another and their marriage will be a good one; otherwise they will have a bad marriage.
It sounds so simple and easy, doesn’t it?
Well, for Christians, for the followers of Jesus Christ, submitting to God itself is not an easy, one-day thing, but an everyday decision we need to make. So, the day we refuse to submit to God (James 4:7), we refuse to submit to one another (Ephesian 5:21), and when we refuse to submit to one another, our marriages become sour and bitter.
Then the blaming game starts:
“He is the one who did this! If he had acted this way, I would have been a loving wife.”
“No, she is the one who is responsible for this, not me.” – the game Adam and Eve played in the Eden Garden starts.
We all love to play this game when we don’t want to be held responsible, don’t we?
Here is what I’m trying to say:
Marriages are made here on earth by two people, one man and one woman. These two people are the only responsible parties who need to pull their sleeves up and get to work so their “Garden of Eden” looks good.
For this to happen, they both need to be responsible and accountable for everything that is happening in their marriage.
Accountability and responsibility are not famous terms today where blaming our pastors or the devil for our laziness is something easy for all of us to do. But the Bible teaches us that until we learn to be responsible and accountable for all our actions, forget a good marriage, we can’t even have a good life all by ourselves.
So, let’s strive to make our marriages “blame-free zones” so we can proactively get involved to make them good. Blaming and mud-slinging games don’t seem to take anyone to the Promised Land (to a good marriage).
And yes, we, humans make our marriages here on earth. It is neither God’s nor the devil’s responsibility.
However, since every good and perfect gift comes from above, we primarily need to depend on God 100% to bless our efforts to make our marriages good.
Jesus said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 ///