This is my quick advice primarily to young people who came from a Christian home and they themselves are Christians but struggle with bad habits such as porn.
I know the topic of porn is huge and there is no “one set of advice” that can help everybody to be free from porn. There is no “one-size-fits-all” strategies that free one from porn addiction. So, I won’t dare to give one today.
However, the truth of God, the word of God is written to all of us. It is a love letter from our heavenly Father. It doesn’t matter how unique our lives and struggles are, the word of God works every time we apply it to our unique situations.
So, here are my short advice:
- Do not ever quit in your fight to break free from porn!
Quitting shouldn’t even be one of Christian vocabularies! Do not even entertain the idea of quitting and throwing in the white towel because victory is yours! It is YOURS no matter how bad you may feel.
If you are born of the Spirit of God, at the end of the day, VICTORY IS YOURS! Don’t ever forget this truth!
The Bible says,
“But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord,
I wait for God my Savior;
my God will hear me.
Do not gloat over me, my enemy!
Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in darkness,
the Lord will be my light.
Because I have sinned against him,
I will bear the Lord’s wrath,
until he pleads my case
and upholds my cause.
He will bring me out into the light;
I will see his righteousness.
Then my enemy will see it
and will be covered with shame,
she who said to me,
“Where is the Lord your God?”
My eyes will see her downfall;
even now she will be trampled underfoot
like mire in the streets.” Micah 7:7-10
Praise the LORD!
So, in your battle against porn, don’t quit! Trust that God will give you victory!
“Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:30-31
- It is only Christ who can break your chains –
If you break your chain by your will-power, soon you will find out that all you did is replacing your addiction by another addiction or sinful/destructive habits. But when God breaks your chain, He breaks it in a way that no other chains can have any bearing on your life.
- If we say, it is Christ who can break your chains, the word of God is all you have.
The word of God means Christ Himself.
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. . . The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. . .” John 1:1, 14a
Only the word of God can renew your mind. It is the word of God that can totally change your thought lives, for keeps.
Porn has a stronghold in your life because it changed your belief about sex and sexual pleasure. It changed your whole thought lives, filling your mind and soul with lies.
The word of God is then the only medicine there is that can get rid of all these devilish lies.
“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:32
- You are created by the image and likeness of God; Genesis 1:26 ,
One likeness of God that you have is, you do not do anything without a cause or a reason unless you totally lost your mind.
That means, you don’t go to porn without any reason. So, find those reasons. Most people say to me, “I go to porn for the obvious reason! For sex!”
Some say to me: “I go to porn because I am single. When I get married, I will stop going to porn. I will have a biblical sexual outlet in marriage.”
What they don’t know is, porn is not the question of sex but addiction.
And no one goes to porn for sex or sexual pleasure because none of these things are found in porn. Many people believe that they go to porn for pleasure but all they end up with is shame, guilt, fear, despair, depression, self-loath and more.
You go to porn because the devil lied to you that your sexual desires will be fulfilled.
Or, you go to porn because you feel lonely and porn lied to you saying, “I will make you feel good about yourself.”
The truth is, you don’t feel good about yourself by going to porn. Actually you hate yourself for going there.
Some go to porn because they are very happy with something and porn invites them saying, “Come to me and I will multiply your happiness.” The thing is, they go to porn with their happiness. and they come out of it losing all the happiness, added on the top, sadness, sorrow, misery and so on and so forth.
So, know all your unique reasons why you go to porn and replace them all by the truth of God. Sexual pleasure only comes from God. Always remember that! And sexual pleasure cannot be felt by no one who is outside the will of God. They only fill the flame of lust.
- Fighting against porn alone is like trying to clap alone – it does not work
The Bible says,
“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16
This is not a matter of one day thing but a lifestyle. A young man/woman should have an intimate relationship with another two or three like-minded young men/women. Then these men/women (same gender in one group) purse sexual purity together, praying for each other and helping, encouraging and challenging each other by the truth of God.
Otherwise, any victory that you may enjoy today will dissipate in thin air after a day or two. The word of God tells us that we are the body of Christ. All of us who are in Christ are part of the body of Christ. “Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” 1 Corinthians 12:27 None of us, by ourselves, are the body of Christ. We all are parts and parcels of the body of Christ. If so, we need to live and pursue God’s righteousness together with other believers. When we do that, we find God’s blessings and life that God had ordered or promised to us to find:
“How good and pleasant it is
when God’s people live together in unity!
For there the Lord bestows his blessing,
even life forevermore.” Psalm 133:1, 3b
When you find websites such as appealforpurity.org or covenanteyes.com, you share among your small group for knowledge and edification.
- Be patient with yourself as you struggle to break free from porn.
Going to porn and getting your fix is the easiest thing in the world (a matter of one or two minutes); however, breaking free from porn addiction is something that demands all your time, energy, determination and commitment because it includes relapses which at times make you lose hope.
But you have to be patient! Don’t look for a quick fix such as, “I am healed!” kind of healing. Even those who claim to receive the miracle of God and got freed from porn addiction have to learn how to lead a sexually pure life or they will soon find themselves in the same ditch.
God is faithful to see you through all these! And through it all, remember this, you will be matured in God, in the Spirit of God and the word of God and you will have those rare praiseworthy Christian characters that many in churches today don’t have, characters such as self-control, respect, disciple, patient, joy, peace, gentleness and more.
God never wastes any of your struggles! He turns them all for your good! Praise His name! ///