Quick Advice to Husbands

The Bible says,

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” 1 Peter 3:7

This “weaker partner” is talking about our emotion, how we women are wired emotionally. Compare to our counter-part, our husbands, we wives are emotional beings. Because of our wiring, we are fragile and we can get hurt emotionally very easily.

And our husbands are called by God to respect us and be considerate as they live with us, their wives, I mean, if they want their prayers to be heard and answered by God.

God fashioned us this way so we can be “suitable partners” to you, our husbands. So, you are not really doing us any favor by being considerate as you live with us. You are in a way doing it for your own good (so we won’t drive you nuts! Think about it!)

I wish you heard my husband putting this truth with his brilliant way of putting words together.

Anyways, so, husbands, especially those of you young husbands, please listen to me carefully. I am giving you four simple advice that you’re able to put it to practice right away and revolutionize your marriage.

  1. Share with your wife all your passwords, secret codes or keys.

I mean, the Bible says, “the two shall become one” – not “continue to be two.” That means, how can you hide something from one of your eyes? You can’t. In the same way, it totally doesn’t make sense to hide anything from your wife. Hiding your Facebook or phone password from your wife is just crazy! She is your wife, your body, as the Bible says (Ephesians 5:21-31).

And some husbands get really upset when they find out that their wives have been looking through their phones or Facebook accounts. Why? Unless a husband is doing something behind his wife, what is there for him to be upset about?

It is absurd!

Yes, I understand. Some new husbands who didn’t take any premarital counseling need time to get used to this “marriage” thing, to allow another human being to be into all their businesses.

But your wife wants to know everything about you because she wants to feel safe and secured and be able to give herself to you in the way you want her. She wants to know if she is the only woman that you care about. When you start hiding things from her, she fears for herself and she holds herself.

And to tell you the truth, by letting your wife come into your life saves you from many temptations. She is like a light into your dark areas of your life.

Even if your wife says to you, “It is okay. You don’t have to share with me your passwords. I will let you have your own private life,” you have to say, “No” for your own sake! Young men get tempted by another woman almost every second these days. So, your wife will be your ally to fight against all these temptations, not that you don’t know how to but you need a partner and that is why you got married.

Some people think that they married to have sex. I am sure no married man think like that. This is the thinking of young single men. Marriage is way more than sex, my friend.

  1. Have no “woman friend” that your wife does not approve of.

This is very straightforward, is it not?

You married only one woman, not 100 women, because marriage, by its nature, it is exclusive, at least for us Christians according to the Bible.

You cannot have the cake and eat it too, is that right? You cannot get married with one woman and play with other women too.

Once you are declared as “a married man,” there is no “she is my best friend” kind of joke. If your wife doesn’t appreciate your friendship with any woman, it is sinful to continue your friendship with that woman.

Using excuses such as, “So and so is someone I grew up with. We used to sleep together in her parents’ house when we were kids. We are families.” Or, the famous one: “She works with me. We talk about work.” Really? At 11pm? What kind of work? Are you a White House secret service agents or CIA agents? I mean!

If your wife doesn’t feel comfortable with your relationship with that particular woman, cut that relationship.

However, there is a limit to everything. If your wife tends to be a paranoid individual who tends to worry if you say hello or talk to women, she needs help, not you. If she is asking you to cut off all your relationships with all women including your sisters, cousins, co-workers and mother, she needs help, not you.

  1. Please put on your ring on your finger ALL THE TIME!

Yes, we women may look wired to you men and we may look like we’re aliens from another planet but we passionately love to see you our husbands wearing your ring ALL THE TIME!

And your wife is the same.

Oh, I remember, how my husband and I used to fight 23 years ago (this coming March, we will celebrate our 23 anniversary). My husband used to leave his ring in the restroom after he took shower and he leaves it there for the next four days. Can you believe that? He always says, “I am married to you! This ring is not the one that makes me faithful to you, but my heart.”

And I will reply to him: “I am not interested to hear that. I want you to wear this ring now.”

Yes, we fought many times. In the middle of all that, he lost the first ring and I bought another one from Ethiopia because I love Ethiopian gold. He lost that too. Now he is wearing a gold ring that I bought from America that doesn’t make him feel uncomfortable, it is thinner than the previous ones and it does not really look like a wedding band, but hey, I like it because it is always on his finger.

Now I am seeing many wives in counseling room with the same problem. So, I am appealing here to all husbands who are annoying their wives leaving their rings.

Husbands, I am begging you here on behalf of your wives. Wear your wedding ring all the time.

And honestly speaking, when we see you, our husbands, with your rings, we your wives feel loved and treasured! Think about it! Without you doing anything, we feel like we are loved. You can’t beat that! This is cheap, easy and doable!

  1. Your wife wants to spend time with you ALONE!

I know what you husbands are thinking here but we wives want to be alone with our husbands NOT for sex. Please get this! That is your desire, not ours! (I don’t mean here that we don’t desire sex but we primarily desire to be alone with our husbands to build intimate friendship which very well at the end lands us to the same place that you want to be).

So, your wife wants to spend time with you. She wants you to take her out for a date.

And let me give you some tips here:

When you take your wife out, choose an outfit for her. Say something like, “Hey Baby, I want you to wear that purple dress that you wore last week.”

You know what your wife hears? She hears as if you whispered in her ears something like, “Oh, Baby, you’re attractive! I love you so much! I can’t take my eyes off of you!”

I know, that is something else!

And hold her hand and take her out. Leave your phone in the car. Don’t talk about your job, kids and those stuff. Rather, talk about her sparkling eyes and lips!

Some people may say, “Really? We did that when we were dating. It feels weird to do those things now.”

My answer is this: That is why your bedroom is freezing cold!

Anyways, so, young men, please put these four simple advice into practice and let me know what this advice do to your marriage. Bless you! ///