“My Dreams are Pornographic”

Today, I want to address three questions asked by three different people:

A4P Guest #1:

Am a single 30-year old woman. Am praying before God to bless me with marriage. There are a lot of guys in our church but I couldn’t find the one. A week ago, a pastor/prophet in our neighbor asked me whether I was in a relationship or not. I told him no, then he said he wanted to introduce me to a guy in their church. Then I meet the guy. We talked and he told me to pray for two weeks to find out the will of God. I agreed but the problem is, I didn’t like the guy and I couldn’t pray. Then I told him after 2 days that I was not interested thus I was not praying. He told to the prophet & the prophet came to my house and warned me that I was going against the will of God and I would be responsible for the consequences that would come on me as a result. I don’t like the guy & am not interested. Does God really force me to marry a person I don’t like? What do you advise me to do?

A4P: There is no biblical reference for anyone to do this kind of evil. You are 30 years old. You are old enough to know what you want and what you do not want. If the pastor/prophet was a real and true prophet of God, he would have said to you something like, “God will speak to you personally, if not, then I said this from my own brain.”

Do not date or marry any man that you are not attracted to. Don’t  listen to this so called pastor/prophet. May God speak to him to stop playing with others.

And please, let the word of God lead your life! Let the word of God give you warnings!

“This is what the Lord says:

“Heaven is my throne,
and the earth is my footstool.
Where is the house you will build for me?
Where will my resting place be?
Has not my hand made all these things,
and so they came into being?”
declares the Lord.

“These are the ones I look on with favor:
those who are humble and contrite in spirit,
and who tremble at my word.” Isaiah 66:1-2

Tremble at the word of God, not to the word of a mere human being. God does not work this way. And no, God never forces anyone into marriage. He is your heavenly Father. He knows where you are and He knows what kind of a man you want. He is your provider. So, rest in Him. You are a victim to people like this man called pastor/prophet because you have no clue what the word of God is saying about you, you the child of God. Don’t let anyone come between you and your heavenly Father. Let the word of God speak to you. And the will of God is clearly written in the word of God. You don’t need to go anywhere to know it.

A4P Guest #2:

I am 18 years old and I frequently see pornographic dreams and I get really disturbed by that. What should I do?

A4P: Most of our dreams are coming from our lives, from our thought lives.

That means:

How do you spend your day? What kind of thoughts do you let linger in your brain? What are your friends? What kind of moral values do they have? What kind of music and shows do you let yourself listen to/watch during the day? These questions will give you some hints as to why you always watch pornographic dreams.

That being said though, young men like you struggle with what is called wet-dream or nocturnal ejaculation. Your body naturally produces sperm and every 72 hours, there will be “sperm build-up” in your body and your body naturally relives itself from the sperm build-up during the night. That is why in the morning, you find your pj being wet. This is natural and you shouldn’t worry about this much. Many young Christian men hate this experience but there is nothing you can do to avoid it.

However if you expose yourself to sexual thoughts, scenes and things that suggest to sexual stuff, the natural “wet-dream” mechanism will automatically change into a 15-minute long pornographic dream. This will disturb your spirit and it sure takes away your joy in Christ because it defiles your body and mind. So, the best thing to do is for you to fight for your sexual integrity by protecting your eyes, ears and mind.

“Be careful what you think,
because your thoughts run your life.” Proverbs 4:23 NCV

“Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life.” Proverbs 4:23 NASB

How true that is! And here is another beautiful verse:

“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” 2 Timothy 2:22

A4P Guest #3:

I am an educated woman and had a well-paying professional job. But I stopped by job to be a stay-at-home-mom. It’s been almost a year now since I stayed home. I was very happy and everything in the beginning but now I feel really down. All my friends are working, even those who have kids. My friends first advised me not to stay home saying that it would make me get old faster and overweight, and vulnerable for my husband to take advantage of me and even abuse me. Regardless of their advice, I decided to stay home with my kids because my husband is a kind man and he supported my idea to stay home wholeheartedly. The problem is now I feel so down and lonely and I think I am a bit overweight too. As a result, I am not that loving to my husband and kids. What should I do?

A4P: Anything good in life comes with a price! Always remember that! Raising your own kids is something that you can only do it once in a life time. It won’t come around. Going back to school and pursuing your profession is something that you can do anytime but not raising your kids. Once TV, social media and nannies raised them, you can’t reverse the process and redo them all over again. Once it’s gone, it is gone.

What a precious gift God and your beloved husband gave you!

Well, I am sure you love your friends, and you should continue loving them. However , you have to let your life go through different seasons of life. While you were single, you were going out with your friends and all that. Now you are in a different chapter of life, raising the next generation. So, you need to let go of your friends and find mothers like you in your neighborhood and be friends with them. As an educated mom, you can be the best mom as you can be. Every week day, have a plan, what to do with your kids. Involve your kids with the plan and make them look forward to the next day. Do not stay in the house the whole day. Go out for a walk with your kids. Open air is good for you and your kids. Take your little ones to the park or somewhere.

If you just sit in the house and be on Facebook, you sure will continue gaining weight. So, be active as much as you can. If you get depressed to the point of wanting to hurt yourself or your kids, it is good to seek medical help because you might be suffering from depression. However do not let depression scare you away from your kids. As long as you get help in that area, means, if it is diagnosed properly by a professional physician, preferably a psychiatrist, you will be in a good position to do what you love and want to do, raising your kids.

I know, raising kids is hard but let me tell you something: As I always say, the days may feel loooooong but the years are very short. Before you know it, your kids will give you a ride to the nearby grocery. That is where I am, my friend. I don’t know where those days went by but I am eternally thankful that I had a chance to raise my own kids.

Yes, please hang in there! You will never regret! And make sure you take care of your spiritual life because that is where you get strength and courage to keep on keeping on. May God help you! ///