They say, “Men love sex and that is where it starts and ends for them.”
I know, I once thought that too. Some researchers didn’t want to waste their time either when they agree with that and say it is “self-explanatory” as if that was the definition of being a man.
So, since his puberty, a man is beaten up with a message such as this one: “You are here on this planet for one thing only: To have sex. All you need in life is sex. If you don’t get that, you are going to be less of a man. So, do whatever you can to keep your manhood.”
But we have to ask, “Is that true? Is that how God created a man? Is man created for sex?”
The Bible says (Genesis 4:1), “Adam knew his wife” (KJV).
This is not written this way because God was embarrassed to say, “Adam made love to his wife” or “Adam had sex with his wife”.
It was written and phrased that way because it expresses the truth plainly and fully.
As I wrote in most of my articles, having orgasm is not all about sex or sexual pleasure; rather, it is one part of sexual pleasure.
For a man to have a fulfilling sexual pleasure, he has to “know” his wife.
The whole story is then found in the “knowing” and most sexual problems reside there as well.
God created and fashioned man’s sexual pleasure in a way for the man’s ability and performance of sex to bring his wife to a sexual fulfillment.
His fulfillment is not in having orgasm but in the MAKING of his wife enjoy the whole act of sex. Yes, that may sound a paradox to what we know to be true but it is true of every husband.
It’s been known that a man desires sex within a split second to be done with it in one or two minutes (on average; means some men need only 25 seconds to desire sex and be done with it).
That is ridiculously short time but regardless a man goes across the land, cross the ocean and climbs a Kilimanjaro mountain to get sex, knowing that he will be done within one or two minutes.
Why? Because his strong sexual desire is created in a way to sexually know and fulfill his wife who is mysteriously created by God! Notice! I didn’t say, “woman” but “HIS WIFE.”
His sexual desire, apart from KNOWING AND FULFILLING HIS WIFE, mean nothing but “orgasm.”
And don’t ever forget this: Feeling of orgasm is nothing but a biological result of a sexually stimulated body (whether it is stimulated by a human being or a thing). And when a man experiences orgasm without knowing and sexually fulfilling his own wife, he runs after “NOTHINGNESS” – sexual immorality that destroys his life at different levels. Paul puts it this way:
“But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:2
His sexual fulfillment only comes into COMPLETION only when he has sex “with his own wife” in the way God meant it to be.
For Adam, his sexual fulfillment begins at the sight of Eve’s naked body and ends at the sight of her sexual fulfillment. As he slowly explores and learns his wife’s unique sexual nature, he becomes an expert on approaching her sexually according to her unique sexual nature.
“The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:3 – his marital duty to his wife!
And the most fascinating part of all these things is this: Every woman is unique. Just because a man had past sexual experiences with hundred women doesn’t mean that he can automatically become an expert in sexually fulfilling “his own wife.” Take note here please!
That is why sexual fulfillment WILL NOT happen during a honeymoon season because the couple doesn’t have time to “know” well in that short period. That is why most “honeymooners” come back from their honeymoon with some “blues,” which I call “post-honeymoon-blues.” They go to the honeymoon expecting to experience all their sexual fantasies to find out, to their surprise that, they actually realized their nightmares.
Simple! They have to give each other time to know each other.
If you find a couple who claims to have a wonderful sexual honeymoon, be assured on this, they are actually talking about the orgasmic experience and most often than not, it is the husband who will have a “Hooray” kind of experience, not the wife. Why? He has to know her for him to be her dream man. That is why the Bible said, “They SHALL become one,” – “become” implies a process. Let me come back to this another time. For now, let me stick with my topic.
It takes around from 20 to 30 minutes for a wife to desire sex and be done with it and her orgasmic stage is much longer than her husband. Her exceptionally long sexual journey is decorated by the sexual joy and fulfillment of her husband as he gazes at her. Why? He is the one who ushers her to the journey and he is the one to lead her through the way to bring her to the “finishing line.” And that gives him some sense of “I’m THE MAN!” This is a perfect, pure and God given sense.
This picture is portrayed so nicely in a dance called Tango. The man leads the woman and she follows his lead. He fixes his eyes on her, to see her every move so he catches her on his hand when she falls down to signal him of the end of the dance. And he holds her up, holding her one hand up high and signals the audience with his other hand to clap for her. Then he proudly bows down AS THE LEADER AND MAN OF THE DANCE; as the real designer and maker of that beautiful tango dance. He looks from far away, as if he was clapping for himself, saying to himself, “I AM THE BOMB!”
Wow, when a man finds his God’s sexuality, he will be seized and captured by the beauty of his glorious PURE SEXUAL nature. He gets fascinated how his sexual desires are able to be contained and being well taken care of by only one woman; a woman he explores, studies and knows.
Oh, how sad it is then to see young men of God being strayed away from the truth of their sexual nature! How agonizing it is to see them marching behind the world, looking to quench their sexual urges in all the wrong place to find themselves in a different sexual starvation.
What is the message today then?
The message is mainly to a young “single” man. Listen to me carefully please. Your sexual nature is “the mover and shaker” of this world. All business sectors are now using it to advertise their burgers or cars or healthy insurance policies. God never intends it to be like that.
Know that ONE bone is missing from you. And God will agree with your decision to take one woman as your wedded wife. And He helps you study, explore and know her so that she will complete you. Remember, no bone is a perfect fit for your missing bone. But the woman you are going to take as a wife shall become your suitable fit as you sharpen “her-inside-beauty” by your kind words and chip away her crooked and pointy behaviors and attitudes by your compassionate love and romantic acts (Ephesians 5:25-33). You are not created to run after sex but after God.
Running after God alone can set you free from being a slave to your own sexual nature. ///