A girl is called a virgin when she has no sexual encounter or experience with a man. This is not something she has to swear to the fact. She can’t lie about it.
This reality is completely different for a man. A man can say “I’m a virgin” while he was not and be believed because there is no substantial evidence to confirm either way.
When it comes to a girl, it is a different story. She doesn’t need to say anything. Nature itself made it in a way for a girl’s “virginity” to be obvious and provable. She can’t be both a virgin and not-a-virgin at the same time. And once she is considered “not-a-virgin”, she can’t be a virgin back again, ever.
Her virginity is naturally intertwined with who she is. That is one of her beauties. This is one of her identities as a girl. Listen how a husband, who is watching his bride’s body for the first time, praises his bride’s physical virginity:
“You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;
you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.” (Song of Songs 4:12)
Wow, “a garden locked up”, only to be opened by one man. “A spring enclosed, a sealed fountain” to be broken by only one man; never to be sealed again; never to be locked up again. It is God-made door of the future, a door through which God brings forth another brand new life into this world.
Once her virginity is gone, it is gone for life. This fact is the most crucial fact to a girl. The value and preciousness of her virginity is naturally printed, engraved and ingrained in her soul. Her virginity means a lot to her but not to a man. This is very important point to notice. Some girls think that because they decided to sleep with a man, they thought that the man would decide to marry them. It doesn’t work that way for a man. Once a man lusts after a girl and wins her body, he is done with her; mission is accomplished according to him. There is nothing left undone. The story ends there for him. Some girls pick the best man every girl desires to have and give him their virginity thinking that he is going to be “locked up” with them for life. So they say things like, “I’ve never slept with any man except with him. Now he left me without any warning.”
Oh, Beloved, for a man, those two things are like two different worlds. It is like talking about apple and computer. Is there any relationship between these two? Absolutely no relationship whatsoever! It is not like he is cruel or a piece of the devil. Even the well behaved, matured Christian men don’t give girl’s virginity the same priority, value, emphasis and meaning as the girl does. A man won’t change his course of life because he slept with a virgin.
Losing virginity for a girl can be like losing almost part of who she is; or it can even be felt as losing her life in its totality especially in the case of rape/date rape.
Most men don’t have a clue what girl’s virginity means to a girl. To tell you the truth, they don’t have to know it. As long as a girl knows it, she lets every man around her know just simply by the way she adorns herself. Yes, she can send loud and clear message to every man around her by the way she interacts with them, that her body is the temple of the LORD.
If a man is married to a virgin girl, after the first sexual encounter, that is it for him. After a few days, his wife’s virginity will be filed in his “old” memory files. But for her, it is a different story. She wants her husband to praise her for keeping herself for him; she wants to hear him say (maybe for a million times) that he is blessed to have her. That is because her virginity is her identity. Giving her virginity is like cutting her soul in half and giving it away; never to get it back. It has some sense of loss attached with losing her virginity.
Even girls who get married to a very spiritual man feel some sense of loss for the first few days of their honeymoon. They may even be depressed and feel blue. The young man may try to do everything he can to make his bride happy but she may still feel down for losing her virginity. Can you see the depth of it? Even at the right environment, after she does everything right, she can quietly feel like she lost something precious in her life. Of course wise husband knows how to turn these short episodes of blues into a memorable one, making her virginity the topic of the day; thanking her for her courageous devotion to keep her virginity to God and to him.
The comforting part of it is that when a girl loses her virginity on marital bed, it gives her some sense of value. Even if she feels that she gave part of herself away to someone else, she knows that that “someone else” is always with her. She sees him every morning, sleeping next to her. He is part of her. She is part of him. It gives her some sense of comfort and security. Even if she gave what she couldn’t get back, she knows that the part she gave away indirectly forever lives with her. Wise and spiritually matured man knows how to comfort and give assurance to his bride as he tells her that she is the one he will always love for the rest of his life because that sense of loss exists even in that “close to perfect” environment.
Yes, girl’s virginity has huge value to a girl. I personally don’t think in a million years that God put that “hymen” (a membrane that closes her private part) for a decoration reason only. It has deep spiritual meaning and message we may not grasp the full meaning and purpose of it in this side of heaven. It’s known that the hymen has no function, per say, when it comes to its contribution to the body function. It has nothing in it except blood; blood a sign of “death” (death of her being a virgin) but also a sign that a new door is open for a “brand new life” to come. (Please connect the dots here of the birth of Christ, the dying of the Old Testament for the New Testament to come forth.)
There is more, it is the blood that seals the soul of one man and one woman for life as they go into a covenant relationship between the two and their Creator, for them to be one till death do them part.
Girl’s virginity is not like something we hear and watch on most TV shows today where a celebrity is announcing the day she is going to lose her virginity, may post a preview on snapshot. Wow, they made it sound like every girl has to lose her virginity to be popular.
(Oh, Dear, if you are a virgin girl reading this article, listen to me carefully, please: Hold on to the truth. Don’t let them fool you. Listen to the quite voice inside your soul. You are created in the image of God. You are not who the movie makers say you are. You are what the Word of God says you are. Most girls you see on movies (such as, porn movies) and entertainment shows have to be on different medications 24/7 to silence the sadness and weeping of their souls. They have to smoke cigarette, do drugs to silence their God given conscience which cries out for holiness, dignity and honor. Oh, no, Beloved, don’t buy their story.)
Girl’s virginity is something God by His choice designed it in a way that is attached to the woman’s heart and soul. Some girls say this after they lost their virginity in one way or the other: “After that day, I lost the desire to live and move on with life. I lost respect to anyone, including me; I lost the passion live. The pain won’t go away. I know that I will never be the same again, and so on and so forth.”
That being said, remember “virginity is but one aspect and representation of a person’s overall sexual purity – which includes purity of the heart, soul, mind, and body.”
As I said multiple times on different posts, just because a girl is physically a virgin doesn’t mean that she is a sexually pure girl but yes, physical virginity can be one aspect of sexual purity.
Before I close, let me say this: If you are a single girl who lost your virginity before your honeymoon night, listen: Yes, you know that you can’t be a virgin again but you can be a sexually pure girl before God when you confess and repent of your sin, means renounce your past lifestyle. God sees you as if you were a virgin. Take confidence in His unending mercy and grace. Leave your past at the feet of the cross and move on with your brand new life in Him. ///