A4P Guest: Well, I am not sure where to begin. I am married and have a two year old girl. This is my second marriage. I am 35 years old. Yes, I am a born-again Christian. I got married with my second husband three years ago. And I am constantly thinking about my ex. I know this sounds crazy but I can’t stop thinking about him. I am learning about marriage a lot now and I can see clearly how my previous marriage could have been saved had I have known what I know today. Missy, my husband is a nice man but I am not in love with him. I am in love with my ex-husband. I don’t know what to do about that. My ex is married and there is no way for me to get back to him, I know that very well. And I don’t want to hurt my current husband and I don’t want my ex to divorce his wife either. But I have this constant wish that doesn’t leave my mind. I am crying when I type this but let me tell you my deepest wish: I want my ex-husband to call me and tell me that he still loves me. Missy, we used to love each other. I met him when I was 19, I was madly in love with him, so was he, and – – – I think I need to stop. I think I am depressed. I don’t know what to do or where to go. Can you help me?
A4P: Huh! I’m so sorry my dearest! I wish I could sit and cry with you. I wish I could hug you and tell you that everything is going to be alright.
This might be the darkest season of your life and it’ll soon be over. You will come out of this victoriously because Jesus doesn’t break a bruised reed or snuff out a smoldering wick (Isaiah 42:3).
To get the full benefit of being in Christ, surround yourself with people who truly and genuinely follow Christ. You need to tell to someone (a woman) what you are going through. I know, you may say, “Are you crazy? I rather die here.”
But there is life in letting someone come into the darkest place of your life. It is scary, I know! The person may not be able to keep your secret and many people may hear about you but see it this way.
You see, all of us, literally all of us, have “ugly skeletons” in our closets. Nobody had this life easy. But those who dare to go out and share their secrets with others enjoy life to the fullest but those who choose to stay in the dark live in the dark.
And my friend, if you don’t want to repeat the same mistake all over again, you need to hold on to your current marriage. To do that, you need to seek your healing. Satan has been lying to you and had you locked up in your past. He makes you look back and cry while he is stealing every good gift you have today.
Your past is over, my dearest. Let it go! There is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Learn from it so your present and future life will be better than your past. You have a husband and a child to love and to cherish.
Let me say this before I leave you: What you know about marriage now is not good enough because it seems like it only makes you regret about your past life. So, I advise that you go and learn about marriage in marriage seminars and places where church ministers/teachers give special class for married people. You will then know how to love, cherish and enjoy your current husband and marriage. ///