A4P Guest: I am 27 years old and my girlfriend is 26. I am pursuing medicine, soon to graduate. I plan to pursue further studies to do my PhD in medical research. My girlfriend, who loves Jesus Christ very much and loves life, on the other hand, has absolutely no interest in any form of formal education. She wants to be a businesswoman. Her parents have business and both of her parents have no higher education and she wants to follow their footsteps. I told her that I would pay for her school if she goes to school but she is not interested at all. Missy, please understand me. I want an educated wife, not that I want her to pursue medicine, but at least I want her to have a degree or something. So, after I think about it long and hard, I decided to call it quits. Am I a jerk?
A4P: Hmm! A jerk?
Maybe.
I mean, unless you tell me that she has some character flaws that you couldn’t stand, it is hard for me to consider your decision as a wise and educated man’s decision.
I mean, there is nothing wrong with you wanting to marry an educated woman but making education as a deal breaker, I personally don’t think is a good idea.
Listen what the Bible says about a good wife: “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.” (Proverbs 12:4)
Noble means a personality that is “of an admirably high quality; notably superior; excellent.”
Disgraceful means “shameful; dishonorable; disreputable.” – And any woman, educated or uneducated, has a potential to be a disgraceful wife or to have a noble character. So, be very careful! Don’t bet on education alone.
The mother of a young king, King Lemuel, wrote this way to her young son regarding what kind of a wife he has to look for:
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.” (Proverbs 31:30-31)
By the way, the woman King Lemuel’s mother is referring to here is a merchant; a businesswoman (read Proverbs 31:10-31).
Yeah, you may need to rethink your decision of “I want to marry an educated woman” into “I want to marry a respectful woman, a woman who fears God and honors and respects me as a man.” And when you find that kind of woman, make sure you don’t waste your time. Just marry her!
Again, there is nothing wrong with you wanting to marry a woman who matches your vocation at least remotely. However, zooming in on education disregarding other very important characters of a woman may make you a loser at the end.
Last point: If you marry a woman of noble character with no higher education, there is a good chance that she may later on desire to go to school so she can be your suitable helper. ///