To Present Her to Himself

One Saturday afternoon, some time ago, I bought a beautiful dress and couldn’t wait to show it to my husband. So after we put the kids to bed, I said “Okay, now let me show you my beautiful dress I bought today.”

So I wore the dress and said “Okay, here we go.”

I thought he would say “Oh, My, you look beautiful.” But he kept quiet for one full minute which felt like one hour for me.

Then he said, “Okay, before I say anything, let me ask you this. So why did you buy this dress? To wear it everywhere or wear it at a particular place?”

I already lost all my excitement. So, I reluctantly said “I want to wear it everywhere. Why?”

He said, without hesitating, “Okay, you always want me to tell you the truth. Is that right?”

I didn’t want to say “yes”. So I nodded.

He said, “Okay, this dress looks great on you. It is flawless. But”

Don’t you hate BUT? I hate it! I wish he stopped there so that I could sleep through the night and woke up in the morning and wore my beautiful dress to church.

So, he said “But this is the kind of dress I want you to wear when you and I are alone, for dinner out or something. This is not the kind of dress you wear everywhere.”

Beloved, this man knows me better than anyone; and he knows that that kind of statement can make me “lose it”.

I said to myself “This man wants me to look like a garbage can. And that ain’t happening in this side of life.” And I said “Okay, that is fine.”

Now, just imagine me. All those songs I sang in the church “I’m crucified with Christ” blah, blah went out of the window. Now Eve is back on the game. Off the cross, alive and well!

When this Eve comes back to life, you don’t want to be on her way.


Yeah, I like “but” at this point. But my husband knows how to put that Eve back to her grave.

Looking at my eyes, he said “My love, the only motive I have in my heart, right now, God is my witness, is only LOVE. I don’t think it is a kind of dress you want to wear everywhere to represent God and me. Don’t you think so? But I love to see you with this dress when you and I are alone. What do you think?”

Okay, let me tell you the truth here. When I was trying that dress in the fitting room, I kind of felt like, the Holy Spirit was saying “No” to that dress. But I chose to ignore the voice and bought the dress ANYWAYS.

Have you ever done that? Well, if you’ve never done that, let me tell you this: I’ve done that so many times that I get scared now even when I hear that voice. God knows how to discipline us really well, doesn’t He?

I said “Okay, I will return it.” I believed my husband’s statement with all my heart. I chose to believe it. It was a confirmation and I feared ignoring the second voice.

So I went to the shop and returned it. But when I returned the dress, you know how they ask you why you’re returning; well, the lady at the counter took the dress out of the bag and lifted it high up in the air and said, “This is a gorgeous dress. I wish it fits me. Why on earth are you returning it?”

I said in my heart “Be Quiet!” I thought she came directly from hell to help me rebel against my God and my husband. Seriously!

I calmed myself down and said “My husband doesn’t think it is a kind of dress he wants me to wear everywhere.”

I wish I took a picture of her reaction to my reply. She looked at me as if I was a lunatic with two heads. When she looked my “cool” face though, she said “Oh, that is nice. Well, the man wants to keep his girl to himself, doesn’t he?”

I said “I guess so” and we laughed.

Brother, loving and protecting your wife can be expressed in saving her from herself, from her choices. You see, your role as a protector of your wife is not limited to protecting her from a thief. I mean, that is very “boring protection”. Even a neighbor can get that job done. But protecting your wife from herself is, I think, the core of your spiritual call. And that kind of protection is a reflection of a beautiful picture of how Jesus protects the Church.

However, protecting should not be controlling! I will say that again. Protecting should not be controlling. Don’t say to her “Oh, yeah? There is no way you go out of this house with that dress”.

To that, she will say to you “Oh, yeah? Watch me!” So don’t take that route. You will definitely lose. That will bring Eve back to life. So be smart to put her back to her grave and the only way to do that is by winning your wife’s heart by your love; true love. That is how you keep that evil Eve in the grave.

And tell her that you love her. Don’t expect her to interpret your action. Say, “I love you, Honey. I care about you. That is why I’m saying don’t wear this dress everywhere.”

And, there is one spiritual secret here: You love and protect her to “make her YOURS, ALONE!” Listen to what the Bible says:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and TO PRESENT HER TO HIMSELF as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” Ephesians 5:25-27

Notice, “to present her to himself”. He fights for her joy and safety; He showers her with loving words; He washes and cleanses her so that she won’t have any stain or wrinkle or blemish so that she will be remarkably beautiful! To who? To Him alone! ///