Whenever I feel down and doubt and unbelief get the best of me, I turn to my old journals. I sit on the floor in my walk-in closet and start reading, beginning from my oldest ones.
Oh, young people, I really advise you to journal your life. I believe with all my heart that God wants us to keep journal of our lives. You know why I said that?
Well, there are countless passages in the Bible where we learn how important it is for us to remember how God saves us when we go through fire, waters and “the shadow of death”. It is also good to journal our mountaintop experiences so we can strengthen ourselves in the faithfulness of God when the going gets tough. If you read the book of Psalm, you can find this truth portrayed clearly many times: “On the day I called, You answered me; You made me bold with strength in my soul.” (Psalm 138:3) – What is he saying? He’s saying, I remember what You did for me in the past.
If you depend on your memory, my dearest, you’re cheating yourself out of God’s blessings.
Anyways, while I was reading my journals the other day, I found one love letter.
I know, a love letter written for me when I was in 10th grade. I wish I could post the letter but I want to respect the man. I neither remember his face nor his name. I tried to remember him but unfortunately I couldn’t.
It is one full page letter. I mean, talk about romantic words, this is it! My eyes were lit up!
He began his letter with something like, “Your eyes are beautiful and your hair reminds me of – – -” – I said to myself, “Hmmmmm!” And I stomped out of the closet and went downstairs looking for, guess who? My hubby!
I said, “Baby, from now on, this is how I want you to speak love to me. This is the language I can understand clearly. This is my language.”
My husband looked puzzled and looking at the paper in my hand, he is like, “What is that?” I gave it to him and said, “Read it slowly, loudly and clearly.”
He read it and smiling, he asked, “Who is this guy anyways?”
I said, “No question asked! Just say those words back to me and don’t worry about the rest. This is the correct way a husband should speak to his wife. If you want me to convince you, read Song of Solomon. This letter is a copy of Song of Solomon chapter 2 or something.”
I mean, I know how the saying goes, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” but I know that my eyes are not that sparky and beautiful as the man described them. But it doesn’t really matter. I love those nice words and those nice words struck a chord in my heart and I was happy.
As a matter of fact, I have many love letters, romantic letters, from my husband when we were dating but living apart for some time (I, in India and he, in America).
But is it fair for me to expect those romantic words from my husband today?
The simple answer is YES!
But today, my love language is different. Instead of my husband saying to me, “Your eyes are sparkling like starts,” today I prefer my husband to vacuum clean the house. I mean, those words are nice but they mean nothing to me if I am stressed with a messy house.
Sure, we wives want to be loved, treasured and cherished by our husbands and we want our husbands to speak love to us in the way we want to.
The love song a husband plays to his wife should sync with the desire of his wife. As an out of tune musical instrument irritates the ear, love extended in a way that is not desired may irritate the one on the receiving end.
One wife said to me, “Missy, I would feel loved by my husband if he doesn’t throw his stinky socks in my bedroom.”
So, for this husband, all he has to do to show his love to his wife is to wash his dirty socks or throw them in a washer. Isn’t that simple?
Some husbands are just good at eating food, watching TV, demanding sex and sleeping. Just compare this with Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her”.
Believe me in this, it is a joy and a privilege for a wife to cook to a “loving and caring” husband, to keep the house clean for him so he can enjoy watching TV (if watching TV is part of his life) and making herself available so he enjoys being intimate with her and enjoys a good night sleep. ///