A4P Guest: I’m a 22 year old woman and the man I’m seeing is 27 years old. We met in our church’s yearly young adults’ retreat and it’s been a year now since we’ve been dating officially. I love him very much but he flirts with every girl in our church. I told him to stop once and I let it go and chose to pray. He cheated on me once and I forgave him. A couple weeks ago, I found something on his phone and I asked him about it. He confessed that he had cheated on me again. So, I called it quits and tried to move on with my life but I can’t stop thinking about him. Yesterday night, he called me and cried saying, “I want to celebrate the New Year with you. Please forgive me one last time.” I told him that I would get back with him. I know God wants me to forgive him and be with him, because that is what Jesus did for me. Jesus always takes me back whenever I come back to Him after I sinned against Him. But I think he needs help, don’t you think so?
A4P: No, I don’t think so. The one who needs help here is you, not him. I think the man knows what he is doing and he is fine with it. But you, my dearest, you need help, very badly.
The man flirts with girls, he cheated on you twice and now he is knocking at your door to take you for a New Year Eve’s ride. This is totally absurd.
This is what I think happened: He called around to all the girls he’s been flirting with and all of them have turned him down and guess what? He said to himself, “Okay, there is one girl who can’t turn me down because she has no clue about life.”
Please hear me: Whenever you think of a man to date and later marry, think this way: “There are at least three billion single men for me to choose from on this planet and I should decide to date and marry one who sees me as the only woman for him on this planet.” If not, you are better off being a single and happy woman than a miserable married woman.
And I hope and pray that you are not thinking and believing that this man is going to be a completely different man after you marry him. The man you see now is the man you find after you marry him.
Oh, precious, open your eyes. Go to those who can help you to sort things out. You need your 20/20 vision back.
Who are those people I am advising you to go to? The people who love and care about you! If I’m not mistaken, you haven’t shared this with them. If you have, they would have told you the same thing I’m telling you here. Please share this to those people who care about you and listen to their advice.
One last note: “I forgive a person who wronged me” means, “I won’t make him pay for what he did.” In other words, forgiveness means being willing to forget “the payment” the person who have wronged you owes you.
Sure, forgive the man but let him go out of your life. ///