A4P Guest: Missy, I really want to divorce my husband.
A4P: Hmm. So, tell me why you want to divorce your husband.
A4P Guest: He doesn’t want to talk to me. He only wants to talk to his phone and laptop.
A4P: This is your only reason?
A4P Guest: What do you mean? This is marriage, is it not? If we don’t speak to one another, we can’t live together.
A4P: Has he been like this since day one?
A4P Guest: Yes! We’ve been married now for six months and I am already feeling suffocated. Sometimes I stay up all night long thinking and feeling lonely.
A4P: My dearest, I was the stupidest bride ever. For instance, if my husband didn’t eat dinner with me, I used to entertain the idea of divorcing him and marrying another “nice” man who always eats dinner I prepare for him (nice in a quotation mark because there is no such kind of man who meets that “always” qualification). My solution for my problem was too childish. It sounds like a five year old girl saying to her three year old brother, “If you don’t want to play with me today, you won’t be my brother anymore.” Yeah! It is too funny for me now.
Then my husband and I decided to strictly listen to the Focus on the Family Radio show almost every day and we began to order some books on marriage from their website and read those books together. After a couple months or so, there was clear sharp paradigm shift in our attitudes and characters towards each other and our marriage. Believe me in this: We still (after 21 years) read books on marriage, attend marriage programs/seminars whenever we can and go for counseling if we need to.
So, my dearest, buy books on marriage written by spiritual men and women; encourage your husband to go to marriage seminars/programs that you may find in your area. If you have to drive far, do it. Go for marriage counseling, not so the counselor fixes your husband but for you to listen and learn. You know what these things do to you? They will help you both to grow up and mature.
If your husband doesn’t want to do all this, you do them alone, at least when it comes to reading books. Work on yourself and the changes your husband sees on you may influence him to change (1 Peter 3:1).
Please, don’t make a mistake that you may never be able to set it right.
Let me say this before I let you go here: Usually, I mean, all too often, the condition of our hearts towards our spouse and marriage is a direct reflection of the condition of our spiritual life. So, check and see if you’re still intimate with Christ and His Spirit, see if you strive to lead your life according to His word, means according to the guidance and lead of His word: “For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.” (Romans 8:14). ///