Our Natural Beauty

 A4P Guest: “I’m a 21 year old girl, new for this dating business. I met this amazing guy, 26 years old, in my church. We were friends for almost six months. I believe I’m deeply in love with him but he doesn’t know that. I covered that part of the story real well. And when he asked me out, I was about to pass out. I’m not kidding. He is my dream man. Now, we are going to meet for the first time, next Saturday for lunch. This lunch will mark our first official date but I’m very nervous. I don’t want to mess things up; I just don’t want to lose him. What do you advise me to do?”

A4P: I can just read your excitement from each keystroke. It is just beautiful!
What do I advise you so that you won’t lose this amazing guy? (I hope you won’t.)
Well, if I were to give you only one advice, it would be this:
Don’t try to impress the man by acting like something else but a human being. Let me give you one simple example from my own first-date experience with my now husband.
So, our first appointment was on Saturday at noon. When I left home, I didn’t eat lunch because, duh, our appointment was to eat lunch together. If I remember correctly, I don’t think I had my breakfast either because I was excited and nervous at the same time. So, by the time he picked me up, I wasn’t just hungry; I was starved!
His plan was not to directly take me to lunch but to drop something at one of his friends’ house which was a bit far away and then to go for lunch after that.
When he asked me if I wanted to pick up something on our way, I said “No, I’m okay,” because I wanted to impress him by not being a human being. I thought I was acting pretty and cool. The problem is, I couldn’t hide my humanity for long. It sneaked on me in a nasty attitude. (Yeah, I still get grumpy when I get hungry.)
So, I stopped talking to him after 12:30. Mind you, this was our first date. He was traumatized by that incident so bad that he still remembers that day vividly. If it wasn’t for his patience to put up with my grumpiness, I would have lost my chance to win the jackpot right there. Even the thought of losing him itself terrorizes me now.
So, try to be yourself, a human being as you are.
When I say “be yourself,” I am not suggesting that you be yourself in and out. That can be a bit scary, even for you. All I’m saying is this: Don’t overdo it either way. Just try to find the balance and the best way to do that is by preparing yourself to go out and enjoy your afternoon with him. It is not a job interview; that means you don’t need to tell him everything about yourself, even if he asks. 
And know this about men: Most genuine and authentic Christian men, once they put their eyes on a girl, it is hard for anyone to make them change their minds. Your man is already impressed by your look and character and you don’t need to work hard to impress him more. So, just relax and enjoy your first date.
Remember: Our natural beauty tends to hide when we try to be somebody or something else that we are not. So, be wise. ///