Do you know that most of us wives want our husbands to read our minds?
Yes, we do. The funny part, at least for me, is this: We usually don’t know that we are demanding our husbands to read our minds. Let me give you one simple example to show you how this reality plays out on a day to day life.
A wife plans to have a date night with her husband and plans out the details. She doesn’t tell him that she is thinking about it. Then one night as they go to bed, she suggests: “Hey Baby, let’s go out for dinner tomorrow night, alone, without our kids.”
Her husband, without any excitement, replies: “What do you mean without our kids? How can we leave them home by themselves?”
Smiling, (as if to say, you have no idea for how long I’ve been thinking about this), she replies, “Don’t worry! I’ve already arranged that. The baby-sister will stay late.”
“Oh, okay. So, where exactly do you want to go?”
That one question destroys all her excitement. Remember, he is not excited or depressed by the plan but his question kills her.
So, she retorts, only with her look, not with words:
“What? Where do you want to go? Oh, I get it! I am not your girlfriend anymore since you’ve married me, am I? You know what? Forget it! After all, I rather stay home playing with my kids. Never mind!”
She immediately covers herself with the blanket and turns her face to the other side and shuts him off.
Her husband, lying there in bed, bewildered by what has transpired, staring at the ceiling, he asks himself: “What did I do now? What did I say?”
Then the bedroom temperature quickly drops down to a freezing point. If he dares to ask more questions, she would grill him for the rest of the night. He knows that very well. So, listening to her deep sigh, he too turns to the other side and falls asleep.
We women (most of us) want our men to figure us out. We expect them to read our minds. We want them to surprise us. We want them to make us catch our breath in surprise and say: “My! My husband brought me here! He must be in love with me! OMG! It is true, he still loves me.”
Guess what? Our husbands want to do that too, but the problem is, we don’t want them to make a mistake when they guess on what we want and think. If they take us somewhere we don’t want to go, we get frustrated and say something that discourages them to try to surprise us again. So they stop playing that “guessing game” and revert to the game of “play it safe.”
By asking us a straightforward question like: “Where do you want to eat dinner?”
The problem is, this kind of question doesn’t speak love to us. It says to us, “I’m tired of taking you out for dinner.”
So, here is my advice to both of you husband and wife.
My sister, your husband doesn’t wanna be evaluated every time he takes you out for dinner or lunch. He worked hard to make you his wife and now he doesn’t want to go through the same road of convincing you to stay with him. If you always want him to stand on a pedestal to prove himself to you, forget it. He is not going to do it. He doesn’t get excited with all your “let’s go out” suggestions. So, here is what I suggest.
Choose a place you want to go to and say to him something like, “Let’s go out for dinner and I’m really craving for Olive Garden’s salad.”
You go to a place of your choice, you make your husband’s life easy and you make your night exciting. What more do you need?
Don’t get hung up on the past. “He used to surprise me almost every day when we were dating!” Stop that! You are not dating him; you are married to him now. So, relieve yourself off the past and get on with reality.
And my dear brother, the number one thing your wife wants to know is this: Whether you still love her or not. So, when she comes to you seeking to have that special time to be alone with you, don’t assume that she is expecting too much from you. You can say to her, “Oh, baby, you know that I enjoy spending time with you alone, without our kids. Let’s go to Texas Road House. How does that sound to you?”
If you say something like that, you win her heart and save your night! Both at the same time! You don’t freeze to death in your own cozy bedroom. Your life will be enjoyable as long as you choose wisdom when you deal with her. Don’t try to read her mind. She can’t read her own mind either because there are million things running in there; and they all run at the same time and at the same speed. So, just find a way to communicate with her love and you’ll be good to go! Otherwise you will be responsible for making your life short and miserable on this side of heaven. So be wise. ///