A4P Guest: “I’m a 34-year-old single man. I strive to be sexually pure. I have male friends with whom I pray and discuss personal issues, including our sexual struggles. But I have a question for you. I’ve been praying for God to give me a wife but God is not answering my prayer. I’m not in any addiction or sinful lifestyle. Why do you think that God is not answering my prayer?”
A4P: Before I say anything, let me say this: Kudos to you, my dear brother, for keeping yourself away from a sexually immoral lifestyle!
And kudos to you again for having male friends with whom you discuss personal issues! Very commendable! Good for you!
Well, when it comes to waiting on God to bring you a wife, I don’t think that is the way it goes.
You see, there are at least three to four billion women roaming this earth right now. Let’s assume that three billion of us are off the market (married) and you have one billion women to choose from. Other than creating and making one billion women available for you to choose from, what else can God do for you?
Can you imagine if we wait on God to build a house for us after He gives us the trees and all the materials we need to build a house? (I’m not saying here that a wife is something you build as you build a house but marriage is.)
There is what is called God’s part and man’s part. And one of man’s parts (duties) in this life is to look for a wife and find her. So, going, looking, finding, and pursing a woman to make her your wife is your duty, not God’s.
I don’t know if you are waiting for a perfect woman. If that is the case, my brother, you will stay single for the rest of your life because you ain’t gonna find her unless you look for her on another planet. This planet we are living in has no perfect human being. We all are broken people, with lots of “dysfunctions.”
And remember, the older you get, the higher your standard gets. As you get older, your list of things you want from a woman gets complicated. Every time you notice married couples struggling to stay married, you add more things to your list. The problem with that is you can’t find a woman who will fulfill all those things you want because no human being can fulfill that. That means the sooner you pursue and marry a woman, the better!
The Bible says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” (Proverbs 18:22) BTW, that is not a promise, but wise advice.
So, my short answer is this: God is waiting for you to choose one from the one billion single girls out there. Once you choose one, He wants you to bring her to Him so He will bless your union. Since you are sexually pure (I assume), you are ready to pursue a woman. So, get busy my dear. Open your eyes and look around. If you continue waiting on God to bring a girl to your doorstep so that she will knock and say, “Here I am. God sent me to you. Go ahead and take me,” you might stay as single for life. Not only that, but you may also make one woman single for life. Do you see how disastrous that can be? So, get busy today! ///
P. S. Some men argue saying that God is the One to bring them a wife, not them. They say, “Adam didn’t look for Eve. God brought her to him” referring Genesis 2:22. Where did this teaching come from? – I’m not really sure. Proverbs 19:14 is the most misquoted verse in this case. Why? Again, I’m not really sure. But if you are one of those men who are waiting for God to bring your “Eve” to your door, other than what I’ve said in the above post, what else can I say to you except, “May it be to you as you believe.”