“I’d been flirting with men”

A4P Guest: “After reading some of your articles, I got convicted that I’d been flirting with men around me. I’m one of the worship leaders in my church. I used to like to wear tight pants and/or short dresses. I was enjoying the attention the men were giving me. A couple weeks ago, I decided to buy a dress which is neither tight nor short but still cute. I wore it to the next church program. I was actually leading the worship that day. For some reason, I felt clean standing before the people of God, consciously dressing up in a non-seductive way, if you know what I mean. I loved the feeling I had but when the program was over, I had some kind of “withdrawal” feeling, lol, from missing all the attention those men used to give me. I knew I did the right thing but not receiving that “addictive-attention” from the men made me kind of feel down. Believe me I will continue dressing up honorably even if I still have the temptation to wear those seductive dresses, but let me ask you: When do you think I will get over this withdrawal feeling?”

A4P: What a wonderful question!

While reading your short and beautiful story, I remember one proverb I read somewhere. It goes like this:

“Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream.” ~ Malcolm Muggeridge

So true, isn’t it? A dead fish goes with the stream because it can’t choose which way to swim. It is dead! The fish which is alive knows exactly where to go and where not to go to stay away from putting itself into trouble.

While flirting is becoming a norm in churches today, I’m very proud of you for not “swimming with the stream” as a dead fish. Jesus didn’t call us to follow the norm, to swim with the stream, or to do life as many do and lead our lives according to the commonly held tradition of this world that opposes God and His word. I’m so proud of you for choosing the narrow road.

Regarding the withdrawal effect, lol, I felt it too the day I learned about modesty and I know exactly what you are talking about.

Well, it will disappear after a few days, once you get used to the new way of doing life, and you will actually forget about it. As you get used to presenting yourself honorably, you will get love being attractive but not seductive because being seductive always chips away your dignity, honor, spiritual understanding, and your devotion to the LORD, leaving you just empty and naked; making you cheap, confused and useful for nothing!

So, don’t worry. Finding your worth in Christ is better than anything. And you are doing excellent! Keep up the good work. BTW, you will soon see that your action becomes contagious because the world doesn’t get attracted to its kind but for the kind that is opposite to it. May the LORD bless you in everything you do! ///