A4P Guest: I’m a 22 year old woman and the man I’m seeing is 27 years old. We met in our church’s yearly young adults’ retreat and it’s been a year now since we’ve been dating officially. I love him very much but he flirts with every girl in our church. I told him to stop once and I let it go and chose to pray. He cheated on me once and I forgave him. A couple weeks ago, I found something on his phone and I asked him about it. He confessed that he cheated on me again a month ago. So, I called it quits and tried to move on with my life but I can’t stop thinking about him. Yesterday night, he called me and cried saying, “I want to celebrate the New Year with you. Please forgive me one last time.” I told him that I will get back with him. I know God wants me to forgive him and wants me to be with him, because that is what Jesus did for me. He takes me back whenever I come to Him. So, what do you advise me to do? I think he needs help, don’t you think so?
A4P: No, I don’t think so. The one who needs help here is you, not him. I think the man knows what he is doing and he is fine with it. But you don’t.
The man flirts with girls, he cheated on you twice and now he is knocking at your door to take you for a New Year Eve’s ride. This is totally outrageous. This is what I think happened: He called around to all the prospects and all of them turned him down and guess what? He said to himself, “Okay, there is one girl who can’t turn me down because she has no clue about life.”
Please hear me: Whenever you think of a man to date and later marry, think this way: “There are at least two billion single men for me to choose from on this planet and I should decide to date and marry one of them who sees me as the only woman there is for him.” If not, you are better off being a single happy woman than a married miserable woman who is looking forward to her funeral service.
Oh, precious, open your eyes. Go to those who can help you do that. Who are those people? The people who love and care about you! If I’m not mistaken, you didn’t share this with them. If you did, they would have told you the same thing I’m telling you here. Please share this with them and listen to their advice.
One last note: “I forgive a person who wronged me” biblically means, “I won’t make him pay for what he did.” In other words, forgiveness means being willing to forget the payment the person who wronged you owes, and not asking him to pay for what he has wrongly taken from you. Sure, forgive the man but let him go out of your life. ///