The health of a marriage depends on how a couple deals with their marital conflicts. In reality, every married couple deals with conflicts here and there and the presence of a conflict doesn’t indicate that the marriage is an unhealthy one. Rather the presence of the following four ways of dealing with conflicts may show that the marriage is an unhealthy one:
Exchanging disrespectful words; (name calling);
Giving “silent treatment” to one another;
Gossiping about each other to friends and families; and
Sleeping on separate beds (the most dangerous one).
Yeah, these are the most notoriously “cancerous” ways of dealing with marital conflicts.
One of the ways married couples can show their mental and spiritual maturity is by the way they deal with their martial conflicts.
A spiritually matured woman doesn’t pout because she is a grown up and godly woman. And if she is a grown up and spiritually matured woman, she uses a technique I call “tactful influence”. Listen what the Bible says about “tactful influence”:
“Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over WITHOUT WORDS by the BEHAVIOR of their wives” (1 Peter 3:1)
Powerful influence! The trick is this: “Winning over while losing it all”. This woman doesn’t pout; doesn’t give her husband silent treatment or call him names; she doesn’t sleep anywhere but on her marital bed and she doesn’t gossip about her husband to ANYONE. Guess what she does? She just lets Jesus live in and through her! That is what tactful influence is all about.
And a spiritually matured man doesn’t pout or gossip about his wife to ANYONE; he doesn’t call his wife names and he doesn’t leave his marital bed. Instead he loves his wife unconditionally which I call, “Tactful love”. And the Bible describes tactful love this way:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Ephesians 5:25
Yeah, giving unconditional love to a wife does wonder in the marriage. ///