A4P Guest: I am married to my husband for three years now. We have a one-year old son. We both are born-again Christians. I love my husband very much, maybe more than life itself. I know he loves me. After we got married, he cheated on me with one of his ex-s and I forgave him because I think the girl set him up for it and it was hard for him to go out of the temptation. Now he spends most of his evening hours after he comes from work on Facebook chatting with one of his ex-s. I told him that I didn’t appreciate his relationship with any of his ex-s. Whenever I bring up this discussion, he always gets upset with me and says, “Why don’t you trust me? You always say you love me but why do you find it hard to trust me? I am just chatting with them as a friend.” I am praying but nothing seems to change. I know I have to forgive him for his past mistake because love doesn’t keep record of wrongs but for some reason I find it hard to trust him. What should I do?
A4P: Sister, I don’t know what version of the Bible you are reading. As far as I know, every version of the Bible says, “Love keeps no record” but it also says, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
Do not keep record of the past but you should fight for evil never prevails in your marriage.
You can’t build trust without seeing any change on his part. Trust has to be earned and your husband didn’t earn it because he has a serious problem and he needs help. And you need help too since it seems like you are seeing this issue as if your man has flu or a stomach virus.
My friend, you are enabling your man to play with adultery by letting him do whatever he wants to. Ask for help from your local church ministers; involve others in your case. Do everything you can to never continue like this even for a day.
Precious, this problem won’t remain the same. It will escalate into a level that may endanger your marriage, your life and the life of your son. Your husband needs help; if he says he doesn’t, then you and your son need help because you are in a very dangerous situation. It is good you are praying but prayer alone is not enough. You need to act to bring change. This has to change; or you will lose everything you hold dearly, your family, marriage, including the one you love more than life itself. ///