A4P Guest: I’m a leader for our church’s worship group. We are eight, including me. Four of us stand at one time to lead the worship. I’ve been leading this worship group since 2008 and I have no problem with any of them but one girl. This girl is a very nice girl and everything; but there is one issue. I told to every one of the worship leaders that we need to dress respectfully when we stand behind the pulpit but this girl wears these very tight pair of pants where anyone can trace every part of her body down there. Two of our church ministers already complained about it to me and I generally talked to all of the worship leaders about how we need to present ourselves, without picking on her but she doesn’t seem to listen. What can I do?

A4P: Hmm, I applaud you for being a leader and to care about this issue. Most people are afraid to speak about this issue for they fear of being labeled as a legalist.

Well, sure, we all need to be very careful not to be legalists while we all are saved by the grace and mercy of God. However fear of being labeled as a legalis shouldn’t stop you from addressing this issue. Know that love should be the language of our lives and ministry. And we need “to serve one another with love” as the Bible says (Galatians 5:13b). That means the best way to get rid of legalism is to serve one another with love and care.

So, ask yourself this question, “Why do I care about this issue?” The answer you get may lead you to the motive of your heart. See if your motive is only but care and love to the girl. If not, then, it is better for you to take time to develop love in your heart towards the girl and for all the people you are leading.

The girl may be lonely and she may feel like she has to dress up in a way to provoke attention from men. If that is the case, she may be addicted to all the attention she is getting from the men. Believe me, once we women get addicted to the attention we get from the men who are lusting after our body, we get blinded for the message of modesty.

But whatever her reason might be, don’t judge her for presenting herself like that. You see, after all, she may not know what modesty is all about. She may not have good role models to follow after. If that is the case, be her good role model as you become her good friend; care for her; be there for her when she needs help. Then you may not need to tell her how to dress up because she may start copying you. You see, a leader in the Bible means a servant who leads others by example. So, serve and lead her in love and care.

Remember; never to look down on her in anyway. She is as important to the worship group and to the Body of Christ as you and the others are. And with every opportunity you get, let her know that the worship group won’t be complete without her. Remember, you and the others are in this ministry because of the mercy and grace of God; so is she.

In the meantime, you can order cute choir gown to all of you worship leaders so that none of you will waste your time and energy worrying about this issue. Present this idea to the group on your next meeting when you guys meet together. I hope this helps.

BTW, as daughters of God, we need to adorn ourselves respectfully all the time. (1 Peter 3:3-4) ///