A4P Guest: “I’ve been following your page for quiet sometimes now. And according to most of your writings and teachings you posted on this Facebook page and on your YouTube videos, you said that sexually addicted people are lonely people and you suggested that they seek help from others. I think it sounds good but the problem is when it comes to putting it into practice.
Who are the people you are referring to, for us to go and talk to, for us to go and tell our secret and dark life to? Most church ministers today have their own issues to deal with and some of them don’t seem to care about anybody. They mind their own business. Some of them don’t even help us but tell our stories to others and make us feel guilty for opening up. So where are you telling us to go? Who are these people you keep on saying “Go and seek help” from? Where are they?”A4P: Few years back, while I was sitting in the middle of the church pew, I recognized the face of the man who was about to preach that day; he was one of the people I went to seek help from. He stood behind the pulpit and delivered a wonderful message and in the middle of his message, he brought up my story.
Don’t worry; I have no problem with that, as long as, he doesn’t say, “Actually, she is right there, sitting on my right hand side, she is wearing a red dress.” LOL!
No, he didn’t say that. I really respect and love him! He helped me in my darkest hours. May the LORD bless him and all who belong to him!
So, that day, he presented my story very nicely. And BEHOLD, the lady who sat next to me, she might probably be in her early 50th, turned to me and said, “Can you believe that there are people like that among us, huh!”
I just smiled and said in my heart, “Thank You, LORD, for not leading me to her!”
Sure, we can’t just pick someone and go to them like that. Depending on our problems and struggles, we need to be a little “savvy” as to where to go and who to tell our secrets to.
Remember, when I say, “seek help and don’t live with your secrets”, I’m not saying, “Go into one room and confess your secret lives to one human being.” Well, that is still good compare to living with our secret life and die with it but that is not what I’m saying.
For a lasting victory, what I keep on advising everybody to do is this: Build a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP with other believers.
This was what I found out about myself before I even sought help from others.
I was all alone while living among many people! I was too busy with my own life and with my own small world that I cared less about anybody! I didn’t have any time for anyone! I didn’t care about the church ministry or about the Body of Christ at all. All I cared was about “Me, I, and Mine!”
I thank God that I didn’t go around and badmouth any minister during that time. Looking back, I’m very thankful that I didn’t “touch” any minister with my venomous tongue, because if I did, my healing might been delayed or something because the Bible says, “Do not touch my anointed ones” 1 Chronicles 16:22 – That is just clear!
Well, first, someone “informally” advised me to get involved in the church ministry instead of being consumed with my problems and struggles. I took that advise as if it came directly from God and I got involved in the church, not in a major way but in a very small way (like cleaning up tables and something like that).
Then I began to pay attention to people; I began giving my ears to their stories. I began giving my money to the ones I thought needed the most. Other than my church, I began to invest on ministries which invested much in my life, sending them small money every month.
Then I met very good people. I began to feel at ease to open up to them. Once I began opening up, I couldn’t stop. It gave me so much relief and joy that I wanted to have it all out. I dumped it all out to the point of not leaving anything in me.
One thing I realized during that time was this: It was not only me who was hurting; whose soul was bleeding and aching but many people.
So, yes, you are right; as the Bible said, this is the era and the time when people love themselves too much that they don’t care about anybody (2 Timothy 3).
But what about you? Do you care about others? Do you reach out to others to help them, without expecting anything in return? Do you sometimes stop your daily routines to help others; or do you stay in your “group of cliques” who don’t even know a thing about you? Or are you one of those people who “play church” while they pretty much live in the world?
You see sometimes our healing comes when we come out of our “cocoons”, out of our selfish lifestyle; and out of our comfort zone to help others. It is just amazing how God works.
Listen what the Bible says: “You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the Lord Almighty. “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, WHILE EACH OF YOU IS BUSY WITH YOUR OWN HOUSE. THEREFORE, because of you the heavens have withheld their dew and the earth its crops. I called for a drought on the fields and the mountains, on the grain, the new wine, the olive oil and everything else the ground produces, on people and livestock, and on all the labor of your hands.” Haggai 1:9-11 (Pay attention to “Therefore”)
Sometimes we are too “busy with” our own houses that we forget and neglect the house of God. For example, while the church is seeking for two people who can help in the children’s ministry, we ignore that call and we go around and ask, “Who can help us? There is nobody in this church to help us?”
When we stretch ourselves to build “the house of God” (which is the lives of other Christians’), God builds our life by sending good people into our lives.
So, this is my answer for your question: People who help others are everywhere but I think we can only find them when we ourselves strive to become one of them. They are usually found in the middle of “the house of God.” If we tend to come and sit at “the back” of the church pew as if we were visitors, or if we come in the middle of it all and be “busy buddies” while we have “dry skeletons in our closets”, we won’t find them.
To find them, we need to be real and jump in the middle, and holding their hands, we need to humbly ask them to help us. They are human beings like you and I; they are broken people too like you and I; the thing is they find it easy to help us when they find us next to them.
Remember: A fallen soldier usually gets help from the soldier who have been fighting beside him. ///