A4P Guest: My friend’s husband called me recently and asked me to sleep with him. I was very shocked. I’m married and they’ve been married now for three years. My husband and I and my friend and her husband, we all are Christians and we go to the same church. Now, I don’t know what I need to do. Of course I hung up the phone on him but do you think I need to tell my friend that her husband asked me to sleep with him? If I don’t tell her, I feel like I am hiding a secret from her and I read what you posted yesterday and I felt like God wants me to bring this secret out from the dark. What do you advise me?
A4P: First, what kind of relationship do you and your friend have?
A4P Guest: We grew up together and we are very close. We talk about everything under the sun, if you know what I mean.
A4P: No, I don’t know what you mean. What does “everything under the sun” mean?
A4P Guest: You know, all the intimate stuff and everything.
A4P: So, do you guys talk about sex? Is that “the intimate stuff” you are referring to?
A4P Guest: Yes.
A4P: So as married women, what do you guys talk about sex?
A4P Guest: For example, like a couple months ago, she told me that she and her husband had sexual problems and we talked about it. And I told her what she needed to do from my experience.
A4P: So, she told you her sexual problems she had with her husband and you told her how to solve it based on your personal experience; like you told her what worked for you and your husband in the past?
A4P Guest: Yes.
A4P: And your friend told her husband what you told her. Is that right?
A4P Guest: Yes.
A4P: No wonder her husband wants to have that experience with you.
My friend, you don’t counsel people in the sexual stuff by sharing with them your intimate, behind the bedroom door story. That is yours; yours to keep! The only thing you can help people with in this area is based on principles; giving emphasis to the sexual, gender and psychological differences men and women have. To make your point, you don’t give as an example what you and your husband do behind your bedroom door.
The man has no fault here. He is a man, for crying out loud! Just because he is a Christian doesn’t mean that he stops being a man. He has been drugged into this. You are the one to own up your mistakes, not him.
So, this is my advice: Don’t talk about your intimate stuff with anyone. Your intimate stuff must always be reserved to your husband ONLY! Of course share information with your friends when it comes to which book to read and what you found out about men and women sexuality, but going in to your personal bedroom to give a good example is A NO, NO, NO zone to cross!
Sexual intimacy of every couple is UNIQUE! No one can copy it and paste it to their unique bedroom and continue to be happy with it! We think that way because porn producers brainwashed us to think that we can watch when it is being done by others so that we can copy and paste it.
Beloved, God never created sexual intimacy like that. Just how our finger prints are unique for each one of us, sexual intimacy is UNIQUE to each married couple! Only one of a kind! No copy of it!
So, keep yours to yourself and don’t get into their “intimate stuff” either to the point of dismantling it and making them want yours!
Hey, BTW, tell the man never to ask you that and warn him that if he ever asks you again, you will tell to his wife. But remember, right now, you are the one at fault, not him. And as long as you clean up your act, there is a good chance that the man won’t ask you again. ///