The dictionary meaning of the word secret is: “done, made, or conducted without the knowledge of others”.
Notice, the most important word from the above definition is “others.”
The word “others” doesn’t necessary mean anybody other than the owner of the secret but others implies other people whom if the secret comes in the open may get directly or indirectly affected (even hurt) by it.
For example, let’s say a choir leader has porn addiction and other sexual problems but he decided to keep on keeping on as if nothing is going on. The pastor of the church feels comfortable to call on him if there is any special program in the church and all choir members feel comfortable opening up to him if they are facing personal struggles in their life because they think that he is a very spiritual man and they assume that he is closer to God than them.
Looking at the above example, who do you think are the most important people who need to know about this choir leader’s spiritual life? The pastor of the church and the choir members, don’t you think so?
Let’s see another example, if a husband sleeps with another woman, who do you think need to be informed as part of his confession, repentance and healing process? His wife and children!
If he goes to his pastor and confesses his sin, that is good but the most important people are those who are “others” in this example are his wife and children. Until he does that, he lives in bondage because God always works in Truth and Light and there is neither truth nor light in hiding this secret from the very people who need to hear it.
And guess where God hides our healing? God always hides our healing in the “others” whom we hide our secret from.
When the husband receives forgiveness from his pastor, wife and kids, there is a very low chance that he goes back to the same sin unless he has a serious problem; in which case divorce will be warranted, as the Bible teaches.
Some people ask: “So, do I need to tell to my wife what I have done before my marriage?”
That is not necessarily but after marriage, a wife has all the right to know all about her husband’s personal and private life and vice versa!
Sometimes, a husband who goes to another woman confesses to his wife knowing that she has nowhere to go but to him. And he warns her never to tell to anybody in the church or to anyone. Will he enjoy his freedom and forgiveness from God? Not really! His church folks have to know the secret so that they counsel him and his hurting wife who may harbor the hurt in her heart.
Telling our secrets to the very people we want to hide from is not an easy thing to do but this very act will prevent us from choosing that destructive lifestyle again. Those people we confess our secret to are like “invisible fences” around us to keep us from going back to that dark lifestyle.
That is why the Bible says, “confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16
James wrote this to the group of believers who were worshiping God together. He didn’t tell them to go to Athens or India to confess their sins but told them to confess to each other so that THEY MAY BE HEALED!
As long as we keep the darkest part of our life as a secret from the very people who need to hear it, we can’t receive healing. Sure, confessing our sin to somebody is still good but eventually we need to find a way to open up to the very people we live in close proximity; the people we serve and worship God with so that we will completely be healed! ///