Marriage is not a cure for loneliness?

Adam had never been with any other human being when God said, “It is not good for a man to be alone.” Adam was the only human being there was. The one and only one!

Adam didn’t feel lonely because perfect presence of God was with him. He was moving around and doing life at the presence of God.

Remember, lonely people are not necessarily alone; they usually live among many people.

But Adam was alone; he was the only human being there was and God said: One is not good but two so that the two will fill the earth, (my paraphrase of Genesis 2:18).

Remember, Adam had never knew that being the only human being is something he needed to worry about because he had no idea how it felt like to have one other human being besides him. All he knew was himself, God and other creatures. That is why we don’t see Adam asking God something like, “Well, God, it seems like something is missing. Every animal has one buddy to play with but I don’t have anybody.”

No, he didn’t say that because he didn’t have any clue what it meant to live with other human being. He didn’t know that he was alone; and Adam was very far from being lonely either because of the perfect fellowship he had with God.

Loneliness is one of a spiritual depravity of human being after the fall. After the fall, we are left with a soul which has an empty space, a space I tend to call, “only-for-God-space”.  This space, my dear, only fills in God’s presence.

When we try to fill “only-for-God-space” with the things of this world, we feel lonely. We may live and work around many people but we feel like we have nobody who cares about us. In reality, we may have many people who love us and care about us but we feel lonely because those stuffs won’t fill that “only-for-God space”.

And when we try to free ourselves from the feeling of “loneliness” by marrying someone, it is like trying to free ourselves from a chronic depression by running a marathon. Do you see it?

That is why I said many times that marriage is not a medicine for loneliness but the presence of God; getting lost in the presence of God.

When one decides to marry to get rid of loneliness, they are pretty much setting themselves up for a serious disappointment. They expect the spouse to fill that “only-for-God-space” in their soul and that is the most devastating expectation because no one can fill that except God.

Yes, if one is lonely as a single person and decides to marry, he/she will be the loneliest married person ever. They were better off as single than married persons because in marriage they have someone very close to them but that someone falls short to successfully meet their expectations. And that phenomenon can throw one into a serious depression.

Marriage has never been designed to cure anything. If anything, it is designed to PREVENT one from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 7:1-2). (There are many biblical purposes and reasons God designed marriage for but He never designed marriage to cure anything.)

The cure for loneliness is to find self in the presence of God. How? By daily prayer, Bible reading and meditation and seeking God with other believers.