Thank you again, my friend, for saying “Yes” for me to share your question with others!
A4P Guest: Saturday night, my husband and I were at the restaurant and we kissed in the middle of our candle light dinner. And one of my church members happened to be at the restaurant and I didn’t see her. So, yesterday at church, she called me to the bathroom and said to me, “We Christians are not supposed to do such kind of thing in public.” I was very mad at her because she accused me as if I kissed some other man who was not married to me. So, I said to her, “He is my husband and I can do whatever I want with him” and I left the bathroom. Afterward, I felt bad for saying that to her. Why did I feel bad? I mean he is my husband and the lady knows that. BTW, this particular lady is the one I respect very highly in our church but at that moment, I didn’t have any respect for her and I guess I had an attitude too when I responded back to her. What is your take on this? Am I wrong to kiss my husband in public?
A4P: Kissing your husband is a holy thing as long as you are conscious of your surroundings. We, Christians, are called to live for others’ conscience.
This is what the Bible says: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. – – – But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.” Galatians 5:1, 13b
You have freedom to do whatever you want but up to a certain extent or boundaries and one of those boundaries are called love (and we have to avoid those things which don’t edify and build us – 1 Corinthians 10:23).
As long as you do it in your private bedroom, you can kiss your husband in whatever ways you want to. But outside, in the open air, I advise you to stay away from those kinds of kisses which make others “cringe” not because you have no freedom to do so but because some people may not have freedom to see you doing that and accept and consider you as a child of God. Their conscience may not have that much freedom on that particular area.
And to tell you the truth, why do you want to expose your private joy to the whole world? Keep it private and you will have a lasting joy. Kiss your husband outside the house but not like “French kissing” kind of kiss. Keep that for your bedroom.
I also have a problem with the way you responded back to the woman. You see, you felt bad afterward because of the Holy Spirit who is inside you. He grieves in our spirit when we hurt others. That woman may know five thousand Bible verses but when it comes to romance, she might be from the old school who condemns any romantic love as a sin. Or, she might have the most unromantic husband ever; or she may not have a good marriage. But whatever her reason could be, don’t judge her because she is not free like you. Love her and approach her in love and respect. Invite her to read what you’ve been reading. If she is resistance, leave her alone. We can’t demand from others the same kind of understanding we have.
St. Paul didn’t eat meat throughout his Christian life. Do you know why? Because some of the people around him were not eating meat as a sign of their devotion to God and they couldn’t consider a person as a Christian if they saw him eating meat. Because of that he said “no more” for eating meat so that he wouldn’t be a stumbling block for others around him.
Listen what he said: “Therefore, if what I eat causes my brother or sister to fall into sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause them to fall.” 1 Corinthians 8:13
That is the call of Christ for all of us! That is my take on the issue.
In Him, Missy.
P. S. Remember, I’m not advising you to live in fear of others; losing every freedom you have in Christ but I’m advising to love and respect others. Fear of man is a snare which paralyses you to do anything as the Bible says: “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25